Intertwining

It isn't that I haven't been writing. Its that I've been writing and deleting because nothing seems to 'fit'.

I mean how Long can i ramble on about blue nail paint?

about

my lovely doggies

another trip to Gujarat (ahmedabad, with family no less)

confusion wrt studies

indecision wrt career

astrological predictions (and faintness)

love (and sometimes lack thereof)

tanning (and not so much)

stereotyping

objectification

patriarchy

feminism

politics(?) ...(politics of representation)

anger

hurt

hope

spirituality (*beams*)

ashram visits (:D:D:D)

the divine love

okay, barring the last three which i am Obviously not done dealing with ... everything else is so... blah.

not mediocre.

but 'done'

its been said, written, thought, analyzed by tons of people.

tons of people

tens of thousands of people

and twice, by me. (read the whole blog. it gets repetitive)

So what this about anymore?

Post vow of not-needing-appreciation-from-the-material-world, what does this blog stand for?

Am i still decrypting my very blah surroundings?

analyzing my musty old mind?

ISNT THIS SUPPOSED TO GET OVER NOW?

i saw Julie and Julia, fantastic movie.

that apart, it had a woman writing a blog about her attempts at cooking X number of dishes from Y book within One year.

The year got over and she Stopped.

Target set. Accomplished. then Period. The End. 

based on a true story btw, watch it.

Point is, what if a blog is more than One aspect of your life.

What if its the story of hiccups and unstable growth.

What if its murky and sunshine-filled.

What if its honest and yet, hides Lots :D

What if the readers change, all the time.

What if, like the cliche goes, the only thing constant is inconsistency? 

What then?

What if my road, my path... goes winding on.......

and the destination?

What if the destination is a speck on the horizon and i've forgotten my superpowers-backpack?

What if i don't know how to run the marathon but time has told me i have to.

Im not a bundle of contradictions.

There isn't a fancy term to describe me.

Im not made of unusual metals.

Im a seeker.

I seek because i want to learn, i want to know, i want to confirm.

Im a seeker because this voice in my head tells me... i wont reach the horizon by simply walking. I'll need to pick out the signs, know what im looking for. 

Someone deep inside knows, its my time to seek.

and Voila, the blogs have merged :D 

dum da da dum

You know what I dislike the most, still?

Something that hasn't changed since I was 14. Rather, my idea of it hasn't changed ever since I can remember experiencing it.

Namely, negativity.

Yeahbabay. Disguise it in any way you please, but it still comes down as one thing I will not hold on to nor will I keep near me. Period.

Ohyeah.

So So So much left to do.

-collecting 1st month grant. PARTY.

-talking to mentor. YAY.

-tutoring. haha.

-isssh-studying.

-making crafts project, shush. secret.

-buying monopoly. YAY.

-meeting xa (FINALLY)

-watching 2012.

-catching up with b after tutoring.

lalalalalalalalalalala.... what a wooooonderful world :)

*background music swells up*

baubles

Just like there isn't any One problem to haunt all of our days.

There also isn't One solution to convert our troubles into wisps of ether.

You know what I miss?

I miss knowing with certainty that 

things are as they appear, 

people do what they say they will and

that some feelings are never outgrown.

I want so much more than soup and a good book now. Now, that is scary.

The call of maya, but in a different way.

All my love.

Me likey MEeeee-Taaimeeee

Read a bit of Joseph Andrews.

Heard a wee bit of music.

Watched some TV.

Zipped through 2 movies (yes, different from TV)

Played a lot of Farmville.

Spoke on the phone.

Texted.

L.A.Z.E.D

Lay on my back and just 'was'.

Today was good, as days go.

:)

PSST- Started neeeeew blog, The Seeker

Feel free to check it out in a few days.

mucho love 

"xxxx"

(apparently this is okay-ed by the human censor for appropriate social interaction.)

My eyes ache

Back hurts

and I'm waiting for a miracle.

What intense moment am i supposed to 'grow up' by the way?

Because I've been here a while and all i see are my toe nails... growing.

*sigh*

A Tale of (Mis)Conception(s)

A feminist isn't someone who refuses to wear bras.
A feminist isn't a man hater.
A feminist does not believe waxing is a sin.
A feminist does not attack domestic life.
A feminist isn't aggressive/violent or a risk taker.
A feminist will not drive alone at 2 am to prove a point of 'independence'.
A feminist does not believe 'If a man can do it, I can do it better'.
A feminist does not compete with men.
A feminist doesn't have to be a female.

A feminist is a person who believes that each sex is born equal and what is owed to each sex, is the courtesy of equal respect.

I am a feminist and I'm not ashamed to be one.

Saying Grace

If you let it, Google can be your therapist/doctor/tutor and more.

What I'm personally intrigued by is the sheer NUMBER of people who have the same Issue.

What's more fascinating?

Its the emotional aspect that resounds in a million people all over the globe. Personal dilemmas strung into uncannily similar sentences.

I wonder how they each overcome it (do they?)

Do they lie? (in anonymous question-answer forums?)

I wonder if they laugh about it 'later' (is there a 'later'?)

What makes one connect so completely to one thin slice of a random strangers life?

A hand picked version of reality up for display.

A biased taste.

A representation swung wildly about by moods.

Is it out of this, that art is born?

Rising from the muck like the quintessential cinderella-lotus?

The unfortunate giving birth to the beautiful?

An ache soothing the pain of others?

Nearly four years into 'academics' and the questions gets prettier..

while the answers simmer just out of sight.

May God Bless Us All Everyone.