These moments

Is. A little bit in liking .

Jo Bheji Thi Dua... 

Accidental Road Trips. 3G. Music.
Life, just a touch on pause as we speed past vehicles muscling their way forward.

Memories are made of these moments. a collection of the tremblings of the heart.

Yeh Raatein Yeh Mausam

a whole lot of rambling

It's not hot per se. It's as if the heat has expanded beyond all previous confines, floated outward like a dry blanket, launched itself into space and is currently hovering around the one who is typing. here. in this room. as T walks around keeping an eye on everyone and everything. He's a doll, a poppet, a cookie, a wise, strong, handsome kushmush. As you may have realised, or may not actually, T is currently inhabiting the body a non-human family member. But he is so much more. Oh, just realised Toots and T are both "T's". The heat is obviously getting to me.

He obviously understood from my energy that I was raving about him online because for absolutely no reason he has just finished cuddling with me. This is a good day. :D
So yes, I have to learn to catch my impulsive and compulsive urges before they run off on a clicking spree. well, almost no harm no foul.

Someone elses reminisces about the past, provoked mine and I indulged in some light stalking of my own past self. it feels like stalking a different person, in case you're wondering but i kid... i know no one is wondering anything... this is just me talking.. writing to myself. Anyway.

So as i stalked past me, the clicks sort of happened. and then i undid them because, what is the point even?
There is no point ergo, it must be undone. sort of. ish.
The only point is I had to leave the abode 25 minutes ago to run 3 errands and I.Did.Not.

pause for long sigh.

Speaking of, everyone should listen to Sanam Puri. The fellow can sing... his voice is smooth like how people describe whiskey but actually whiskey isn't at all like that. But his voice is. Smooth.
Smooth. Especially with the oldies.

But maybe I shouldn't praise him too much. My paltry description might lead to skyrocketing of his name/fame/price and then how would he come over to serenade us over dinner then?
That was sarcasm.
Hmm
Must practice more. snorts.

Let's be honest. sarcasm and I mix about as well as oil and water.
we don't.
I'm more umm who knows? I'm trying to know.
the layers are peeling
the vows are made
must.know.self.
not the fragile personality. the permanent.

Listening now to poppet at age 21 days.
She's grown so much. Miraculous how the Divine works.
my Shoniya. my little angel.

interrupting my own self. ta!

Thank You

A wave of thankfulness for

-google
-gmail
-google maps
-laptops
-technological leaps
-mac operating system
-user problem solving forums
-the *God given* ability to type, perceive, see, understand, think, respond

of all the rants over all the years, at least one post devoted to
Thankfulness.
Thank You Divine, the One who sent the idea to the creation, the million invisible ones
who worked with yearning to catch the transmissions being sent
and created them for us. The billion + users.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.

On a good note

we are approaching another milestone in life.. someone had once suggested that such moments be held on to for the potential of positive strength they carry embedded in them .. a strength that carries us forward through the days to come. 

I'm excited about it, much like I'm excited about approaching birthdays. Enthusiastically with a vague sense of wanting to hop around in joy. Im probably not the best person to be around on such occasions. I'm definitely more annoying. Probably. But excitement lends a thick skin so I don't really notice. These are all retrospective musings. 

Of course my pure oh-wow for a fellow female being continues. How does she do it? Amazing. 

Anyway I've also introduced the closest ones to her fabulous existence. It shows how much love and patience they carry that they have not judged me for this 😁

The days of the week swim by in anonymity. Only Sunday comes as a general peak in the ever-on treadmill of life. Why treadmill? Because it's got a hard surface, it's pace is almost always a touch higher than you want it.. and it's good for you! 

I do wish P was in my life a wee bit more but seems like we're a touch apart due to the very different spaces we inhabit in the "phase" of life. A polite way of saying, things change. 

Waiting for her to hop on over to this phase. 

Also, A has vanished even though we're in the same space but diff geographically. She probably feels the same way about me. Hmm. But I'm sure we're both different people now. We were in sync at 18 and now a decade plus gone by with very limited contact. Miss her though. Past me misses past her.

Maybe we'll reconnect?

Anyway. I find it genuinely difficult to text back immediately. 

Uff. Such a tangled web I weave. Full of profuse apologies for delayed responses. Ugh.

I don't want to pass on any of these traits to the little one even inadvertently. 

I think this is how parents change.. when they have a little one just waiting to latch on to any habits or behaviour patterns they see. I'm starting this journey a little sooner with Mami-hood.

(Side note- love you poppet 💖)

You make me want to be a much much better me.

Life is a miracle. 

💖