On a good note

we are approaching another milestone in life.. someone had once suggested that such moments be held on to for the potential of positive strength they carry embedded in them .. a strength that carries us forward through the days to come. 

I'm excited about it, much like I'm excited about approaching birthdays. Enthusiastically with a vague sense of wanting to hop around in joy. Im probably not the best person to be around on such occasions. I'm definitely more annoying. Probably. But excitement lends a thick skin so I don't really notice. These are all retrospective musings. 

Of course my pure oh-wow for a fellow female being continues. How does she do it? Amazing. 

Anyway I've also introduced the closest ones to her fabulous existence. It shows how much love and patience they carry that they have not judged me for this 😁

The days of the week swim by in anonymity. Only Sunday comes as a general peak in the ever-on treadmill of life. Why treadmill? Because it's got a hard surface, it's pace is almost always a touch higher than you want it.. and it's good for you! 

I do wish P was in my life a wee bit more but seems like we're a touch apart due to the very different spaces we inhabit in the "phase" of life. A polite way of saying, things change. 

Waiting for her to hop on over to this phase. 

Also, A has vanished even though we're in the same space but diff geographically. She probably feels the same way about me. Hmm. But I'm sure we're both different people now. We were in sync at 18 and now a decade plus gone by with very limited contact. Miss her though. Past me misses past her.

Maybe we'll reconnect?

Anyway. I find it genuinely difficult to text back immediately. 

Uff. Such a tangled web I weave. Full of profuse apologies for delayed responses. Ugh.

I don't want to pass on any of these traits to the little one even inadvertently. 

I think this is how parents change.. when they have a little one just waiting to latch on to any habits or behaviour patterns they see. I'm starting this journey a little sooner with Mami-hood.

(Side note- love you poppet 💖)

You make me want to be a much much better me.

Life is a miracle. 

💖