When did you begin?...

Where do I start? Where is there really a 'beginning' anyway... ?

it isn't just about the physical birth, or the day of firsts even.. no longer the first day of school, or change of schools or even college... these are all included..
but where else do we face that beginning?

in the less obvious ways?
in the intangible ways.

in the ways we didn't realize would shape our life.. and years later we look back at that moment..
the place we were in ... the decision to be there... the thought behind why we chose to go
and we take a breath and just say "wow".. what a web life weaves while we think we're busy
designing the course of our life..
and we are.. we Do decide.. so many things.. in so many ways..
but occasionally we see a glimpse of a helping hand in the pattern of our own existence..
and to those beautiful gifts.. we say "wow"

in memory of eternally-special moments..
i remember the context.. bated breath.
blogging incessantly about my lime green backpack and ready to soar out into the world.
discover the truth for myself.
hesitating because of the body i was put in, vulnerable. sensible to the practicalities.
but ready... ready to soar. in silent bated breath for a miracle.
and so it happened.. a chance taken.. and what a gift received in return.
a "talk". a "talk" that propelled me into a journey of awareness into my past, present and future.
that "changing life" is too often used... but what do you say when multiple lives are changed...
and all our own?

what do you say when you are changed for always... and your change has the potential to reverberate into past and future lives.. what do you say? when you're holding the opportunity in your very hands.. today. and each day forward.

thats what was my true beginning.. in so many ways.
What about yours?

Some more to look(Read) back on

Sometimes I forget if I'm 27 or 28... which is obviously a huge sign of age catching up and I must naturally, then, be 28..
which I used to feel is young.. at least a year ago...
but now experientially feels old..
How do you all do it?

club hopping
bar swirling
drinking
drinking and waking up the next day operational?

Since I do literally none-of-the-above.. the only thing I'm doing is skipping..
skipping past it all... and much-the-lighter-for-it.
Occasionally one is shoved out and insisting loving voices say a "good time" must be had..
but I have always been very-middle-aged in my taste... ever since I started growing up and realising what exactly I did appreciate..

soups.books.rain.the sea.and music. and dance.. and dancing to good music with better friends :)
which was great in the 18-28 era.
and still is.

only now books are either Academic or pure vacation bliss...
dancing is those incorrigible sitting-moves in much-too-jazzy restaurants
and of course.. the big one.. Weddings :)
and the heartwarming friends are met over cosy coffee dates..
the precious times continue but life is different now..
Effort must be made to build up from the present what we wish to nourish in the future...
Effort, I have realised, is needed in just about everything worthwhile..
and much is left to learn... but steps are being plodded..
and it will all be worth very-much-while ..
because more than what one has.. is who one is and who one aspires to become...

Intent + Effort = Magic... or Karma.. your pick :)

love to all on their own aspirational journeys..
towards painting our own futures :)
and Happy Wedding Day to All the Excited Brides
Best Wishes!

the dirty P word.. Politics

I know its probably my because I'm inching closer to the big bad 3 Oh!, that I'm discussing this now..

The first discussion that i vividly remember having with close friends about this was in college... Bachelors.. and on this rare occasion the 4 of us were relaxing at a coffee space after a probably hilariously fun dinner.. and somehow.. strangely... we started sharing our Political views..
which had never come up till that day..
and i remember a merriment filled debate and quite a few of us shouting loudly but amidst laughter and a lot of learning about the political situation sans judgement.. it was a good night..
and at the end of that we were uniformly satisfied with the discussion and feeling good about ourselves for having a constructive argument and knowing more rather at the end of it..
like i said, it was a good night...in fact, as i reminisce i remember someone adding "I'm proud of us you guys"... :)

but now things have changed dramatically... political discussions are loaded.
we all know who we support, why we support them and nobody is really inclined to budge from their position based on someone elses words.. I'm not talking about "us" the innocents a decade ago :).. but the environment in general...

recently at an out of town wedding found myself loaded into a car with another fellow on the way to the venue.. and the conversation began innocuously enough but soon found myself in a place of such utterly opposing views that i found it a better to keep my mouth shut and let my eyebrows do the talking... which they did.. aplenty!...

and the virtual space and especially the comment section has become way too vitriolic for my taste..
sometimes i really wonder who these terrible people are, who begin to spew out such such such disgraceful things that you wonder why their mother never soaped their mouth in infancy!
and things that one would cringe to be even distantly associated with as a human being.. why such hate? why such hate for women? or anyone disliking Salman khan? or opposing views? basically.. opposing views.
our tolerance levels have fallen beyond belief...
we seem to be nation full of perverts and intolerant jack**es... and its not just the uneducated lot..
unfortunately it has penetrated the so-called academics.. i remember my comment-war with an allegedly educated humanities (the horror) scholar.. and how intolerant he was... how unrelenting in his desire to cut the voice of women and demarcate the whore and the virgin category... sick. absolutely sickening..
i think what is most disgusting is the Intolerance..
why are people no longer entitled to have their opinions respected?
if someone speaks up... why are they hounded?
where has "i respectfully disagree" gone?
where is the civilised behaviour in this civilisation?

where are the merry conversations of the years gone past.. :)
a post dipped in the honey of nostalgia... :)
but realistic enough about the not so palatable present day circumstances...
whatever is happening?

Unexpected thoughts...

If the Divine had made us capable of melting.. I am sure I would be in a puddle form faster than ice cream... Which is not to say that I'm not currently melting.. because I'm certain that i am... each time i step out of the heavenly space that is home... i have efficiently melted away none of the stored *cough* self aka fat... but most of the water i have spent 5 hours inhaling.
and Delhi hasn't even reached peak heat... we're still on our way to that treacherous time when mercury attempts to outdo itself...

yes yes, my saunter outside is not going to excite any sympathy *i know*.. because people are walking, working, and sitting tirelessly Outside All Day in this heat...
which would be impossible except that its actually happening..

which is similar to Dubai in a way, where workers are toiling away Outside and the establishment refuses to acknowledge temperatures higher than 50 *i believe*, which is the legal temperature till which workers are allowed to be outside... beyond which it officially falls into the category of inhumane and therefore there are laws to protect the workers..
Sadly.. its an easy loophole to locate.. that if you stop recognising the temperatures as escalating.. you can ignore human rights..

Its really not a joke... and a pretty good wake up call to how good we have it in our current lives..
tapping away at our laptops and making silly jokes about the heat .. that we have to brave for a few minutes everyday (or lets say an hour)... until we run back to the airconditioned havens that we're enjoying in our private and public spaces...

But this little "post", very much a product of thinking aloud or rather tapped stream of consciousness style, has reminded me of how much we have to be thankful for.. and how much we need to maintain a sense of compassion and a desire to help those who definitely need it..
and how it has to be a part of life.. and its not good enough for it to be a one off..
so get organised
join someone doing something good
get busy
appreciate life and the opportunities but also try and help out.
someone somewhere... routinely!
make a difference! :)

Re-visiting

Sometimes you just have to ask yourself... is what I've said/written helping?
and although you can't take words back... one can luckily still "revert to draft" posts that just aren't helping.

So in that spirit the venting has been shelved... and i can move on to better things. and sparkly moments.

:)
if only words were that easy, eh?

MuchToDo

Much excitement, much ado, much to-do... and not much keeping up with the ever expanding list of the must-immediately-accomplish.
am also convinced that all these means of "staying connected" are actually bullying us into "staying answerable" at all times.. and any desire to stay connected to reality and not the virtual presence.. or any desire to not be attached at the hip or available 24/7 makes one a direct target.
I had become quite (in)famous for responding post 2-4 hours of being contacted by any of these means...*insert gasp*
which, in my humble opinion, is quite okay... and perhaps a decade ago would have been considered good form and manners... in fact, quite accessible... but now somehow the pace of technology has convinced us that just because my message Reaches you within 2 ticks... somehow i am obligated to receive a Response somewhere relative to the speed at which the message has reached you...
as though, by virtue of having Sent the msg Fast, i am entitled to receive a response at the same pace..
which would have been considered ridiculous if it had not become so universally accepted so instantaneously

I wonder why more people don't have a problem with this answerability.. i like to take my time.. continue the job at hand.. and just because i can reply instantly.. why do i have to?

there has always been that stubborn streak in me.. to not bow down to situations just because things are flowing in that direction.. the questioning mind has always made its presence felt.. and that continues.. "just because" is never good enough as a reason..

again, i ask.. why must i be compelled?
and why is no one else asking?

Birthday Week (Wish) :)

As part of a hiccuping tradition, i shall announce my state of mind close to the Birth Day... :)
the day i slipped and came swishing out to join the masses.. intending to grow, learn, evolve and expand my consciousness... hoping that this time i would get it right... knowing some of the milestones that might await me and blissfully unaware, yet excited, about the ones to be revealed...

the day i chose to come here may not be exactly relevant (and isn't to anyone in particular anymore...since i have very much landed) but it can be a cause of celebration if i choose to connect to why i did come here. what was the intention, hope, aspiration and achievement i wished to accomplish within this life span?

if i connect to my kaaran, there may just be sufficient cause and enough joy to celebrate the year round :)

With the desire to stay connected to my purpose of birth,
excitedly,
celebrating the beginning of the 28th year... here. :)