In my 25 (almost 26) years on Earth... I've understood (experienced) it is so so very easy to experience anger, hurt, betrayal, jealousy, the desire to lash out.... and most recently... devolve into growling (when words simply don't suffice)
but I've also learned that if such growl-worthy situations were Not coming into my life... I would not know HOW much gussa (anger) was hidden inside ! how much potential to erupt I carry.... but also.. how much patience, trust, surrender exists inside.
There are a lot of things we wish for
a lot of people we look up to...(for me, it's the people who are sorted inside. and by extension... outside.... but the ones who appear sorted outside aren't always sorted inside. so it doesn't work vice verse... but it works the inside-to-outside way just fine... i think)
There are a lot of aspirations we have for ourselves
-materially (what surrounds me)
-physically (what I want to look like)
-emotionally (how I want to feel)
-spiritually (the direction in which I'm heading)
but at this stage, nearly 26 and whatever emotional state I'm in, I want to grow past the "aspiration" phase to the "living the aspiration" time.
I wish I could be a more sorted person inside... and then carry this wonderful peace from inside-to-outside acts/words/expressions/perceptions.... going from obvious to subtle... to carry it everywhere.
like a perfume that you spray before leaving the car (en route fancy party ;))
a constant never-ending-ever-emanating fragrance of peace that you don't mind sharing... you love feeling... and most importantly, is a Part of me. so it may be constantly flowing inside each cell... but its spray is triggered at will... and when is it most needed?
when I know I'm walking into a metaphorical battle
when there will be lions out prowling for my (extremely) metaphorical blood
when this Peace is my armour ... as well as the weapon I yield.
This battlefield could be at work, the market, the bus, the kitchen, or anywhere... (everywhere!)
let's don this armour and walk free and abhay (a term meaning literally without fear,not just fear-Less :))
finally free of making mistakes that we wish we hadn't ... free of wishing we'd bitten our tongue when unkind words were going to flow... free of causing/feeling hurt... free and abhay
wishing all of us an armour of peace and a Happy Birth Day... so that a new us may be born and revel today!
but I've also learned that if such growl-worthy situations were Not coming into my life... I would not know HOW much gussa (anger) was hidden inside ! how much potential to erupt I carry.... but also.. how much patience, trust, surrender exists inside.
There are a lot of things we wish for
a lot of people we look up to...(for me, it's the people who are sorted inside. and by extension... outside.... but the ones who appear sorted outside aren't always sorted inside. so it doesn't work vice verse... but it works the inside-to-outside way just fine... i think)
There are a lot of aspirations we have for ourselves
-materially (what surrounds me)
-physically (what I want to look like)
-emotionally (how I want to feel)
-spiritually (the direction in which I'm heading)
but at this stage, nearly 26 and whatever emotional state I'm in, I want to grow past the "aspiration" phase to the "living the aspiration" time.
I wish I could be a more sorted person inside... and then carry this wonderful peace from inside-to-outside acts/words/expressions/perceptions.... going from obvious to subtle... to carry it everywhere.
like a perfume that you spray before leaving the car (en route fancy party ;))
a constant never-ending-ever-emanating fragrance of peace that you don't mind sharing... you love feeling... and most importantly, is a Part of me. so it may be constantly flowing inside each cell... but its spray is triggered at will... and when is it most needed?
when I know I'm walking into a metaphorical battle
when there will be lions out prowling for my (extremely) metaphorical blood
when this Peace is my armour ... as well as the weapon I yield.
This battlefield could be at work, the market, the bus, the kitchen, or anywhere... (everywhere!)
let's don this armour and walk free and abhay (a term meaning literally without fear,not just fear-Less :))
finally free of making mistakes that we wish we hadn't ... free of wishing we'd bitten our tongue when unkind words were going to flow... free of causing/feeling hurt... free and abhay
wishing all of us an armour of peace and a Happy Birth Day... so that a new us may be born and revel today!
3 comments:
Hi Pugslie!
happy birthday :)
Quite an in depth analysis that.
And I REALLY like that you've incorporated the word 'sorted' into your vocab.
You're right about the fact that sorted people radiate their sorted-ness. my birthday gift to you will be along and thoughtful comment :D
however, I must disagree with you about the armour part. By donning an armour, you're accepting the fact that you're weak. that you need armour. that'll just hold you back from attaining peace, is what I think. And, we're not weak. we were born without such a feeling. it was inculcated into us by the world. The first thing that one should do, is let go of such thoughts, and revel in the human experience. We are wonderful. The best that Ive ever seen.
to be at peace, one should instead, learn to see things and situations around them with an open mind. Understand the point of view of the one that you're having a 'fight' with, understand what made them that way and why they have no control over that fact, understand that they too are just confused humans going about life to experience it without any direction. WHEN one is truly able to do that, he shall be at peace, not just with his own view but also to every other opposing view. And he shall be able to understand that the world is more complex than he ever imagined before, but that exactly is the beauty of it. he shall look at the world with a true interest in it's workings, and his own. that, is when he shall start the path towards true freedom and happiness.
do give your thoughts on this, I'll be very interested in knowing :)
I see that we're on different stages of our evolution :)
but I really like the way you're going, and I hope you find that peace soon :)
on another point, why'd you delete that? It was a good post!
they do say that one should speak carefully, but I disagree with them!
words are a mere medium to communicate, and the more we communicate, the more we understand others, let them understand us and understand ourselves as well. so, speak out. even if you think it's bad, even if people say it's bad, it will still be worth the effort. trust me. and also, whatever you speak, I'll always be there to listen :)
so bear in mind one of your faithful reader's thoughts, and post as much as you can :D
Free and Abhay! Your posts are quite motivating.
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