So VP-an online newspaper, had this FlashFiction competition...The topic was a death note (unless im mistaken)...so here is what i THINK i would have written...(keep in mind the 'fiction' aspect)
"hi, its me...Boy
writing with a red pen that seems to crawl over the page....hesitant, knowing that once it stops its journey..something else will come to an end. It pauses frequently, buying time so as to leave behind something worthy of being read. I dont think i really want any tears splotching up this page, after all...its all that i'm giving to the world. My moment...my writing...a little bit of me...this is probably how picasso felt...or maybe im just being a romantic. No guy talks like this, at least no guy in his right mind. There are so many better things to be doing...like cricket, basketball, tennis...or so im told. Personally, have always preferred a good book or maybe a nice movie (with the really nice bits edited out...like the Rang De Basanti one...with that whole hue n cry over that animal...it gave me such a feeling of freedom...what did YOU think i was talking about?)...Mum, Dad..you were always scared of my becoming like those OTHER boys...the ones who did 'dirty' things....but yesterday you said that you wish i WAS like everyone else. Why?...How did you change your mind?....Did they become better or i deteriorate into something much worse?...Ive disappointed you, i know that but somehow it fails to make sense...so i like someone...someone my age...our religion...our community...my friend...Does that make me someone who needs a 'cure'?...That hurt me more than anything else...even more than grandma faking a heart attack......(probably cuz i saw right through her drama, she was clutching the wrong side after all)...So i guess im out to 'cure' myself of this 'insanity'...i wont tarnish your name anymore...will disappear like the snow in summer and will leave just a wet patch behind...but time will soon evaporate that too...maybe you can adopt later on and always pretend that had i stuck around..you would have done things 'differently'...This is not totally a sacrifice, i believe where im going will be better for me...no more expectations...yelling...tears...Tears unsettle me...they're completely uncalled for and serve no known purpose...maybe the salt levels are balanced out or something...Dad, you cried too yesterday....maybe i should stop talking too...it gets harder with every second...
Im going to go now...you wont find me and not only cuz you wont look hard enough.....
Accept these as my final words...i forgive you though you never asked for forgiveness
and love you as you have loved me all these years....
I know there is no 'cure' for what i have..for what i feel is love...
one last favour...do tell him that i loved him and not to worry
for life is long and there will be people to love plenty.
Your son,
Boy"
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
In the Jungle
Squishy squishy mud
how wet you would be
light brown and so murky
How easily one falls
misses a step
at that turning when morals
make a left
then dragging those legs
lose yourself in gloom
consider not running
for off the path you stand
having lost the directions so soon
the maps torn in half
when the bald man, at you,
made a pass
bumping and grinding
pushed into a bush
squshy squishy mud
how very wet you would be
light brown and so murky
and then the foot sinks lower
ah groans the earth
and nothing else stirs
no mush to gush over
no clothes to tear apart
no arrow to practice darts
no sky and no moon
no stars and balloons
just falling
backwards and forward
forward and soon
all tangled up forever
or as long as lasts ever
maybe getting up once
with salt on the tongue
and sometimes burning lungs
its all just rum
squishy squishy mud
how very wet you would be
light brown and so murky
how wet you would be
light brown and so murky
How easily one falls
misses a step
at that turning when morals
make a left
then dragging those legs
lose yourself in gloom
consider not running
for off the path you stand
having lost the directions so soon
the maps torn in half
when the bald man, at you,
made a pass
bumping and grinding
pushed into a bush
squshy squishy mud
how very wet you would be
light brown and so murky
and then the foot sinks lower
ah groans the earth
and nothing else stirs
no mush to gush over
no clothes to tear apart
no arrow to practice darts
no sky and no moon
no stars and balloons
just falling
backwards and forward
forward and soon
all tangled up forever
or as long as lasts ever
maybe getting up once
with salt on the tongue
and sometimes burning lungs
its all just rum
squishy squishy mud
how very wet you would be
light brown and so murky
that much
Gosh, It just seems like there is SO much just waiting to be done and there arent enough hours in a day. Still, somehow time is found to waste in front of the TV while subjecting self to the most mindless and brain boggling collection of aesthetically inappropriate shows. A quick 'to-do' list reveals over 11 extremely important 'should-work-towards'. Argh. (Yes, just one yelp per post)
Overt annoyance with absolutely nothing to be ungrateful for.
What is this?... Loss of control?... F****** just stop screwing up my brain.
Could toss blackie in a pile of garage and never look back. Never.
Dont really want/need/ever want or ever need any phone call. Bye Bye Blackie.
You irritate the s*** outta moi. Argh. (okay, so ive exceeded stipulated amount of whines and frustrated groans...sue me)
Could chew up this entire ^%*#)(&@^@(^@(^# generation of ^%$# *()$# like Wrigley's Orbit.
(then spit it out after the artificial flavour mysteriously vanishes..taking with it good mood)
How about a truce?
Life, Do not annoy me and i shall not throw a heavy plant over an innocent soul... (me)
Actually, screw all this. When did this stop becoming a 'vent'?...
Bullshit and piggy poop. Whose the master of ones life???...Who (i demand angrily)
Yes, you bloody well got that right. Its ME mister. ME with a M and an E. ME.
In the words of a wonderful lyricist, "Fuck you".
(strange how i dont feel like censoring above) :)
Overt annoyance with absolutely nothing to be ungrateful for.
What is this?... Loss of control?... F****** just stop screwing up my brain.
Could toss blackie in a pile of garage and never look back. Never.
Dont really want/need/ever want or ever need any phone call. Bye Bye Blackie.
You irritate the s*** outta moi. Argh. (okay, so ive exceeded stipulated amount of whines and frustrated groans...sue me)
Could chew up this entire ^%*#)(&@^@(^@(^# generation of ^%$# *()$# like Wrigley's Orbit.
(then spit it out after the artificial flavour mysteriously vanishes..taking with it good mood)
How about a truce?
Life, Do not annoy me and i shall not throw a heavy plant over an innocent soul... (me)
Actually, screw all this. When did this stop becoming a 'vent'?...
Bullshit and piggy poop. Whose the master of ones life???...Who (i demand angrily)
Yes, you bloody well got that right. Its ME mister. ME with a M and an E. ME.
In the words of a wonderful lyricist, "Fuck you".
(strange how i dont feel like censoring above) :)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Piercing White Fang
You can be the girl in the tracks...the one with the fancy dress or the long legs...and the only difference would be in the drool that accompanies the stare..
Invasion of space
Raped by each look...
Not one day or two, everyday.
Tall, short, black, white or brown
Angry, sad or gay
Wearing blue, pink or grey
Looking right back or nervously around
Stepping up or skulking in corners
Humming your favourite song or quite definitely mute
Somehow, lechery discriminates not.
When you walk out, someone is always around
Judging-Laughing-Violating
Vision is a right misused
Eyes follow, hands reach out.
A fresh piece of meat for the ravenous dogs-
Worthy only of lust
So many fists clenched, eyes narrowed uselessly and profanity barely controlled at the tip of ones tongue..
Struggling to muster a shred of dignity...
to look beyond the baseness of it all...
Gore immense in frequent dreams...each fantasy spilling out with justice meted out regularly
Frantic calls to publicised Helplines...
Protecting the fragile 'purity'...the 'virtue'...that thin layer of skin that divides the 'good' from the 'fallen' or perhaps 'unfortunate'...
Equality?....But naturally a resounding YES...legally.
They say Feminism isn't "needed", I say-try crawling into my skin.
Invasion of space
Raped by each look...
Not one day or two, everyday.
Tall, short, black, white or brown
Angry, sad or gay
Wearing blue, pink or grey
Looking right back or nervously around
Stepping up or skulking in corners
Humming your favourite song or quite definitely mute
Somehow, lechery discriminates not.
When you walk out, someone is always around
Judging-Laughing-Violating
Vision is a right misused
Eyes follow, hands reach out.
A fresh piece of meat for the ravenous dogs-
Worthy only of lust
So many fists clenched, eyes narrowed uselessly and profanity barely controlled at the tip of ones tongue..
Struggling to muster a shred of dignity...
to look beyond the baseness of it all...
Gore immense in frequent dreams...each fantasy spilling out with justice meted out regularly
Frantic calls to publicised Helplines...
Protecting the fragile 'purity'...the 'virtue'...that thin layer of skin that divides the 'good' from the 'fallen' or perhaps 'unfortunate'...
Equality?....But naturally a resounding YES...legally.
They say Feminism isn't "needed", I say-try crawling into my skin.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Playin' on Stereotypes :)
Totally playing on stereotypes here and talking bout what would lead a guy to say what’s written below! :)…(The Universe provides answers)
Guy:Yes, you do look horrendously fat and unattractive.
Universe:(He wants to break up….ASAP…another date that night maybe)
Guy:Can I borrow your lip balm?
Universe:(Over a thousand doctors have warned him that dry lips will lead to his untimely demise)
Guy:Can we please stop watching sports...?
Universe:(He just really doesn’t like them, lighten up please!)
Guy:The IPL cheerleaders are just another example of the degradation of women…
Universe:(Dare we hope for a feminist?)
Guy:It wasn’t what you said, it was the TONE in which you said it…
Universe:(okay ladies, this is just a guess but he MAY be making fun of you)
I totally sprained my ankles on those purple heels the other day...
(Ohh wait, that would be the girl talking...(oops)
Guy:Tell me ALL about your feelings…
(He just had a chat with his best gal pal and the lecture worked… gush away!)
I think I’m prettier than you…
(Wait a minute…who says that exactly?)
Guy:I know you really want to but I want to wait till we’re married.
Universe:....
(long pause… Well, I guess the universe just ran outta options for above.)
Senseless and extremely prejudiced. Cheers to political incorrectness.
Guy:Yes, you do look horrendously fat and unattractive.
Universe:(He wants to break up….ASAP…another date that night maybe)
Guy:Can I borrow your lip balm?
Universe:(Over a thousand doctors have warned him that dry lips will lead to his untimely demise)
Guy:Can we please stop watching sports...?
Universe:(He just really doesn’t like them, lighten up please!)
Guy:The IPL cheerleaders are just another example of the degradation of women…
Universe:(Dare we hope for a feminist?)
Guy:It wasn’t what you said, it was the TONE in which you said it…
Universe:(okay ladies, this is just a guess but he MAY be making fun of you)
I totally sprained my ankles on those purple heels the other day...
(Ohh wait, that would be the girl talking...(oops)
Guy:Tell me ALL about your feelings…
(He just had a chat with his best gal pal and the lecture worked… gush away!)
I think I’m prettier than you…
(Wait a minute…who says that exactly?)
Guy:I know you really want to but I want to wait till we’re married.
Universe:....
(long pause… Well, I guess the universe just ran outta options for above.)
Senseless and extremely prejudiced. Cheers to political incorrectness.
Firstly, currently-life is a lie and not liked.
Okay, so now that thats out of the way.
How about a look at Ms. Woman. Or perhaps its best to not say anything.
When all the crap from the gutter reaches out to drag you back or swallow you whole. Its best to keep a stiff upper lip and ignore it ...perhaps even gloss the smell with a dab of perfume here and there....(the perfume shall remain unnamed)...Manipulations...Sorrow...Tension....Hurt....Words...Actions....are all
step-sisters....Hated, tolerated and connected forever. Nothing said, wanted, craved will ever change it. Melancholy songs are made for some occasions after all. Maybe people become deaf when they've heard too much or want to drown out all those voices.
"When you are with me, I am free" growls the voice, pounding against my eardrums.
I reply..."When i'm without you, I am free"...Ohh wait...correction..."When i'm with you or without you, am never free"....The apathetic universe refuses to hand out tissues and the Earth continues its journey round the Sun. Lets now study the life of somebody else, someone who is semi-glad to be alive and actually praying that it lasts forever. Repulsed. Ungrateful. Polluted.
No Angels, the person up there plays a damned annoying game.
Life may just be a stage and not only have i forgotten my lines...i feel no need to remember them.
The End.
Okay, so now that thats out of the way.
How about a look at Ms. Woman. Or perhaps its best to not say anything.
When all the crap from the gutter reaches out to drag you back or swallow you whole. Its best to keep a stiff upper lip and ignore it ...perhaps even gloss the smell with a dab of perfume here and there....(the perfume shall remain unnamed)...Manipulations...Sorrow...Tension....Hurt....Words...Actions....are all
step-sisters....Hated, tolerated and connected forever. Nothing said, wanted, craved will ever change it. Melancholy songs are made for some occasions after all. Maybe people become deaf when they've heard too much or want to drown out all those voices.
"When you are with me, I am free" growls the voice, pounding against my eardrums.
I reply..."When i'm without you, I am free"...Ohh wait...correction..."When i'm with you or without you, am never free"....The apathetic universe refuses to hand out tissues and the Earth continues its journey round the Sun. Lets now study the life of somebody else, someone who is semi-glad to be alive and actually praying that it lasts forever. Repulsed. Ungrateful. Polluted.
No Angels, the person up there plays a damned annoying game.
Life may just be a stage and not only have i forgotten my lines...i feel no need to remember them.
The End.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Muskmelon
So how does Muskmelon taste?
Well, if its an average one...the fork bites into it about halfway through...depending on the capacity of your mouth..you shove a piece in and then gradually let the flavour fill your mouth...it could be tangy, a little fiber-y or really sweet...but almost always ...really good!
So why the above exercise?...Besides it being pointless, it was an attempt to recreate that aura that the description of chocolate always always urges me to create...Of course it failed..it had to..Oh, did i mention?..have given up the ultimate sin for one whole year...Yes, no gobbling up scores of kit kat chunky's!...no digging my spoon into hot chocolate fundge!...no surreptitiously popping in M n M's!!!..umm...anyway...its been 5 months (started jan 1st actually)...So am now nearing the 6 month celebration...:)
Its just that i've discovered the pleasures of the healthier things...like cucumber...muskmelon..tomato juice...Ohh screw this..me wants chocolate! :D
But the thing is ...it feels simply superb..cuz even though i want it real bad...i am able to stop myself!...(even from drooling when friends dig into SUPER HUGE choco filled/iced/sprinkled desserts!)...The reason for it is naturally more than a lil distorted...Its about abstinence leading to mental strength...about your will to control a small miniscule aspect of your life...or denying, to yourself, what you love and proving in the bargain that you're capable of much more self-restraint than you give yourself credit for!....:D
Basically, you're strong...and now you know it!
Woohoo Muskmelon...my friend till Dec 31st 2008 and maybe even after!
:D:D
Ps-God! Sometimes i think im like seriously messed up!!!....maybe i fell on my head as a baby or something....do vaguely remember falling down two steps...who knows how thats scarred me...psshhhh (unidentifiable sound)
Well, if its an average one...the fork bites into it about halfway through...depending on the capacity of your mouth..you shove a piece in and then gradually let the flavour fill your mouth...it could be tangy, a little fiber-y or really sweet...but almost always ...really good!
So why the above exercise?...Besides it being pointless, it was an attempt to recreate that aura that the description of chocolate always always urges me to create...Of course it failed..it had to..Oh, did i mention?..have given up the ultimate sin for one whole year...Yes, no gobbling up scores of kit kat chunky's!...no digging my spoon into hot chocolate fundge!...no surreptitiously popping in M n M's!!!..umm...anyway...its been 5 months (started jan 1st actually)...So am now nearing the 6 month celebration...:)
Its just that i've discovered the pleasures of the healthier things...like cucumber...muskmelon..tomato juice...Ohh screw this..me wants chocolate! :D
But the thing is ...it feels simply superb..cuz even though i want it real bad...i am able to stop myself!...(even from drooling when friends dig into SUPER HUGE choco filled/iced/sprinkled desserts!)...The reason for it is naturally more than a lil distorted...Its about abstinence leading to mental strength...about your will to control a small miniscule aspect of your life...or denying, to yourself, what you love and proving in the bargain that you're capable of much more self-restraint than you give yourself credit for!....:D
Basically, you're strong...and now you know it!
Woohoo Muskmelon...my friend till Dec 31st 2008 and maybe even after!
:D:D
Ps-God! Sometimes i think im like seriously messed up!!!....maybe i fell on my head as a baby or something....do vaguely remember falling down two steps...who knows how thats scarred me...psshhhh (unidentifiable sound)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)