"yeah.. each time a girl snarls at a guy...he mutters....'bloody PMS'
no babe. its actually not PMS. Its you. Uhoh. Yes, thats right. YOUR inconsistent attitude thats driving me up the wall and has my knickers in a twist. and in NOT a fun way.
Why do you think its SO amusing to fuck around with my feelings?
what kinda perverse asshole are you anyway?
if you like me...stick around and continue the fawning.
if not. take the next bus home to upthereville and rent a cabin. grow a beard. talk to a dog named ruby.
but dont hang around. dont call. dont text. dont say you 'miss' me.
im not bitter. im bored.
have been on the roundabout exactly 3000 times and now im going to be sick.
so do me a favour. and show yourself the door.
im too blinded by my own idiocy to point.
thank you very much.
so, no honey it isnt PMS."
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Jhola Bag Journalism
Well i got a chance to write for a fashion magazine... lemme be more explicit. We're having Fashion shows in delhi and they want people who are reasonably articulate to string a few sentences together and pay em 500 bucks per 'piece'. Sweet. But i got lazy with the whole 'have to reply professionally' bit and didnt get back to them. (Ladies and Gentlemen, my tragic flaw- Laziness) Plus i figured since am leaving town in three days anyway, didnt make sense to stress myself out...when i have the option of oozing and flopping down in one room after the other. Ahem. (i distribute my time equally in all rooms of the house, except the kitchen...not counting rummaging for scraps)...
The thing is.. in the last 6 months have done a LOT of Journalist-ic work. Worked with a national daily, online newspaper and college-level print paper. So what have i learnt? (apart from the fact that this is not gonna be my full time occupation- ever)
-Creative satisfaction is a myth
-Under times of stress (and otherwise) the 'source which does not wish to be named' can be your pet cat
-You don't literally get ink on your fingers
-Working till 1 am only happens when you've been procrastinating all day
-It doesn't really 'improve' your english, maybe its flow
-Not everyone who plans to be a full-time journalist can write well (that surprised me)
-Bylines have the oddest way of being handed to me (though i didn't really write the content!)
ie. (unconscious)misappropriation of bylines is a live n' kicking reality
-People are so disorganized that it almost deludes me into thinking im competent
-You-Dont-Get-Your-Certificate unless you punch the daylights outta them and then feed em' glucose stuffed in meetha paan. (random example)
-The most shallow articles are the MOST fun to write. No brains or effort required.
-The pen is mightier than the sword only when it works and the readership is on a high
-People are well, people. Just not that lovable. (but that wasn't exactly a heart-stopping shock or anything)
Everything has its plus and minuses... It depends on how much you enjoy stuff that you wanna stick it out. For me, the journey has lost its bubbly excitement. So i guess its time for the last swig of the drink before i call it a night on my journalistic ambitions.
Ps- The aforementioned things 'learnt' do not reflect on any one organization but move well beyond the sphere of the three i worked in. Call it personal human experience that is not liable for being sued.
Yes, they taught me disclaimers and self-protection. :)
The thing is.. in the last 6 months have done a LOT of Journalist-ic work. Worked with a national daily, online newspaper and college-level print paper. So what have i learnt? (apart from the fact that this is not gonna be my full time occupation- ever)
-Creative satisfaction is a myth
-Under times of stress (and otherwise) the 'source which does not wish to be named' can be your pet cat
-You don't literally get ink on your fingers
-Working till 1 am only happens when you've been procrastinating all day
-It doesn't really 'improve' your english, maybe its flow
-Not everyone who plans to be a full-time journalist can write well (that surprised me)
-Bylines have the oddest way of being handed to me (though i didn't really write the content!)
ie. (unconscious)misappropriation of bylines is a live n' kicking reality
-People are so disorganized that it almost deludes me into thinking im competent
-You-Dont-Get-Your-Certificate unless you punch the daylights outta them and then feed em' glucose stuffed in meetha paan. (random example)
-The most shallow articles are the MOST fun to write. No brains or effort required.
-The pen is mightier than the sword only when it works and the readership is on a high
-People are well, people. Just not that lovable. (but that wasn't exactly a heart-stopping shock or anything)
Everything has its plus and minuses... It depends on how much you enjoy stuff that you wanna stick it out. For me, the journey has lost its bubbly excitement. So i guess its time for the last swig of the drink before i call it a night on my journalistic ambitions.
Ps- The aforementioned things 'learnt' do not reflect on any one organization but move well beyond the sphere of the three i worked in. Call it personal human experience that is not liable for being sued.
Yes, they taught me disclaimers and self-protection. :)
Saturday, October 18, 2008
'Mithas'
I love music. No, i do. I may not know every genre around or every elusive artist who's worshipped by the special few. But music does something. Theres a flow. Like in the tapping of a keyboard. The consistency as one taps down word after word. Click-click and thoughts articulated. Sweet. Dont know if it makes any sense....but it does to me. a rhythm. the 'dhum' of an instrument unknown. (ah ignorance you embrace me so hard) when your body can sway... flow... melt like water. become one with the soul of what you're hearing.
Its not about fancy lyrics or heart rending declarations of ideologies...its the intake of a breath of fresh air after hours of being in a stuffy room. When you inhale....and the relief of sweet cold water traveling down your parched throat (that you never knew was so parched). As you rock back and fro, right in one place and press re-wind on your ipod. its livng more in the present than ever before. In Nalick's words...."Just breathe"
Ps- Had a fantastic day just because it was so ordinary. Am so blessed to enjoy so much joy in an average day. Thank you God. Its days like this, when thread together, you look back on and think...'yes, i had a great life'.
Its not about fancy lyrics or heart rending declarations of ideologies...its the intake of a breath of fresh air after hours of being in a stuffy room. When you inhale....and the relief of sweet cold water traveling down your parched throat (that you never knew was so parched). As you rock back and fro, right in one place and press re-wind on your ipod. its livng more in the present than ever before. In Nalick's words...."Just breathe"
Ps- Had a fantastic day just because it was so ordinary. Am so blessed to enjoy so much joy in an average day. Thank you God. Its days like this, when thread together, you look back on and think...'yes, i had a great life'.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Ding Dong. wham bam?
Theres a lot going on as of now...( this is gonna sound ridiculous by the end of the post)
Sh has bounced into a relationship. Yup. the super(dupah) genius herself...and S and i didnt even know they invented guys that smart (i know..i know.. sexist)
Just a few weeks ago, Sh and i were talking about the whole elements table thing (periodic table?)...where some elements were put into place before they had been technically FOUND (im really bad at science)...so...she had said something about "the" guy being something like that... you're aware (vaguely) that he DOES in fact exist...but no ones pin pointed him as of now... the Mysterious Man who wont be an ass. (i know i know...sexist again)
Moving on, the thing is.. a lot is also GOING to happen..so im kinda puttin in my efforts to prepare myself for the same. We leave for IIT-K really soon... i wonder if it'll be as awesome as it was the last time we went. Probably not...cuz of all the expectations and stuff. But at least i'll get to listen to some decent music and indulge in 5 hour discussions about absolutely nothing with people that im very close to. :)... Plus V will be there.. :D miss v!!!!!!.... pune is lucky to have her most of the year!....
This year really nothing has worked out as i had anticipated. I left Theatre. *breathes* Its still hard to think about it. Have become this person who is someone i dont quite 'get'. if you know what i mean..which you probably dont..cuz I dont. so how can you? *see see*...the person i know as me wouldnt talk like that.
Managed to gradually disassociate with people who werent healthy for my peace of mind and yeah...got a face-changing haircut. yea yea...trivial i know...:D
Somehow this already feels like December... a time to make resolutions feel! im obviously not quite normal in the head (no wisecracks S!)
but i think im happy. Even though i dont know EVERYTHING in the world and every single detail about how the future is gonna turn up (with pink ribbons or silver?).... im going with the flow cuz i have to... im enjoying it (warily) cuz i choose to.
signing off in the pink of health!
*touchwood*
muah!
*there are very few things writing-it-out doesnt help in*
Sh has bounced into a relationship. Yup. the super(dupah) genius herself...and S and i didnt even know they invented guys that smart (i know..i know.. sexist)
Just a few weeks ago, Sh and i were talking about the whole elements table thing (periodic table?)...where some elements were put into place before they had been technically FOUND (im really bad at science)...so...she had said something about "the" guy being something like that... you're aware (vaguely) that he DOES in fact exist...but no ones pin pointed him as of now... the Mysterious Man who wont be an ass. (i know i know...sexist again)
Moving on, the thing is.. a lot is also GOING to happen..so im kinda puttin in my efforts to prepare myself for the same. We leave for IIT-K really soon... i wonder if it'll be as awesome as it was the last time we went. Probably not...cuz of all the expectations and stuff. But at least i'll get to listen to some decent music and indulge in 5 hour discussions about absolutely nothing with people that im very close to. :)... Plus V will be there.. :D miss v!!!!!!.... pune is lucky to have her most of the year!....
This year really nothing has worked out as i had anticipated. I left Theatre. *breathes* Its still hard to think about it. Have become this person who is someone i dont quite 'get'. if you know what i mean..which you probably dont..cuz I dont. so how can you? *see see*...the person i know as me wouldnt talk like that.
Managed to gradually disassociate with people who werent healthy for my peace of mind and yeah...got a face-changing haircut. yea yea...trivial i know...:D
Somehow this already feels like December... a time to make resolutions feel! im obviously not quite normal in the head (no wisecracks S!)
but i think im happy. Even though i dont know EVERYTHING in the world and every single detail about how the future is gonna turn up (with pink ribbons or silver?).... im going with the flow cuz i have to... im enjoying it (warily) cuz i choose to.
signing off in the pink of health!
*touchwood*
muah!
*there are very few things writing-it-out doesnt help in*
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Pampered no more! -Updated
Okay..so im not well and grumpy... Maybe im grumpy BECAUSE im not well... *argh, of course*
Correct me if im wrong (which im not btw) but isnt it written somewhere in the constitution that "when thy is ill, then pampered you shall be"...or maybe its the Bible..i dont really know.
What i DO however know is...the world is supposed to be revolving around the greatest and most childish ME right now. Thats right, you heard me... i should be carried from one room to the other on the backs of Egyptian slaves who will feed me rare berries at regular intervals. And also fan me with orange silk fans. But thats not whats happened. (i know, shocking right?)
Mom has (unreasonably) decided i must go to the Doctor. Now how ridiculous IS that? Who goes to the doc when they're unwell? Exactly, no one! I knew it. Its just a sham to drag me out of my room for a couple of hours so that they can paint it an awful parrot green. Why? Well, i just know these things. And plus no one is being AT ALL sympathetic... yesterday when i wanted to sleep ON the bedcover...mum said no! how hardhearted IS that???...i mean...here i am...sprawled on the bed and wanting to sleep on the bedcover cuz it gives me a sense of joy and perfection...and people have to take that away from me too. *sniff sniff*
But before you all start weeping let me tell you a little secret...its okay..im gonna make it...no really! i have it from reliable sources (umm, they dont wanna be disclosed) that im not gonna die from a tummy ache just yet. Okay, i guess i havent been COMPLETELY honest...when we were going to Pattaya without my parents to the beach..sister and i were given 2 basic instructions
-no outside food
-no going in the sea water
well, we kinda stayed in the sea water for about 7 hours...and ate some Thai food. ahem. technically 'outside' food...but in order to justify our actions... we werent like eating OUTSIDE food cuz were IN Thailand..so thats local food and the sea water..well who goes to the beach and doesnt swim??? But try telling that to my tummy who refuses to recognize my logic and insists on proving my parents instuctions as right. hmmpf. Typical, take THEIR side.
So now what? Guess i gotta go to the Doc...:(
Unless of course i get completely well by 3 this afternoon *beams*
oh well...in hope we all continue to live.
ciao.
Update
So i went to the doctor (yea yea GASP)...but its all (semi) okay now...*beams*
yay for medicine. :P
ps-im daaaaamn whiny!..oh well..*shrugs*
Correct me if im wrong (which im not btw) but isnt it written somewhere in the constitution that "when thy is ill, then pampered you shall be"...or maybe its the Bible..i dont really know.
What i DO however know is...the world is supposed to be revolving around the greatest and most childish ME right now. Thats right, you heard me... i should be carried from one room to the other on the backs of Egyptian slaves who will feed me rare berries at regular intervals. And also fan me with orange silk fans. But thats not whats happened. (i know, shocking right?)
Mom has (unreasonably) decided i must go to the Doctor. Now how ridiculous IS that? Who goes to the doc when they're unwell? Exactly, no one! I knew it. Its just a sham to drag me out of my room for a couple of hours so that they can paint it an awful parrot green. Why? Well, i just know these things. And plus no one is being AT ALL sympathetic... yesterday when i wanted to sleep ON the bedcover...mum said no! how hardhearted IS that???...i mean...here i am...sprawled on the bed and wanting to sleep on the bedcover cuz it gives me a sense of joy and perfection...and people have to take that away from me too. *sniff sniff*
But before you all start weeping let me tell you a little secret...its okay..im gonna make it...no really! i have it from reliable sources (umm, they dont wanna be disclosed) that im not gonna die from a tummy ache just yet. Okay, i guess i havent been COMPLETELY honest...when we were going to Pattaya without my parents to the beach..sister and i were given 2 basic instructions
-no outside food
-no going in the sea water
well, we kinda stayed in the sea water for about 7 hours...and ate some Thai food. ahem. technically 'outside' food...but in order to justify our actions... we werent like eating OUTSIDE food cuz were IN Thailand..so thats local food and the sea water..well who goes to the beach and doesnt swim??? But try telling that to my tummy who refuses to recognize my logic and insists on proving my parents instuctions as right. hmmpf. Typical, take THEIR side.
So now what? Guess i gotta go to the Doc...:(
Unless of course i get completely well by 3 this afternoon *beams*
oh well...in hope we all continue to live.
ciao.
Update
So i went to the doctor (yea yea GASP)...but its all (semi) okay now...*beams*
yay for medicine. :P
ps-im daaaaamn whiny!..oh well..*shrugs*
Monday, October 13, 2008
Reality-Finally!
Wow...what a way to celebrate the 200th post...yes, nows your cue to cheer :D
Im back. Yup. The family holiday got over and honestly im in love. Not with the place...not with the people...not with anyone in particular. More like an idea. See, after years of putting it off (subconsciously saving the best for later i tell myself)...i read Ayn Rand' The Fountainhead. No i will not gush. I will not become a cliche'. I will not talk about the 5 pens i used up scribbling my thoughts on pages that never seemed to end..and that i almost clung to (i didnt even want it to end...cuz then there would be the resolution...and god help someone out there if it wasn't just bloody fantastic)...luckily..it was. but not in an obscene way. In a life-goes-on but lets-be-strong way. Okay, my way of expressing it is too poor but ...it changed stuff. It changed how i viewed stuff for the past few days. I think it may just have changed me for good. Oh damn. Ive never been a good adapter.
But lets talk about the weekend. Not in chronological order cuz that would just be an insult. Okay, not really. but ahhhhh. So bloody much to say/think/feel. One constant thought. Im in love. The sea...finalllyyyyy....im back to loving it in the same-yet-different way. It kinda pulls you in...(yes, i am aware of the scientific facts behind the tug..have had my basic education you know!)...and if you look at it from a certain angle (my angle)...it pulls away your negativity and swallows it up whole. A LOT of embarrassing stuff happened... i wore the wrong kinda shirt (ahem)....tore my Pjs (badlyyy!!)....kicked/punched someone really helpful (purely by accident)....it was all unplanned and messed up..but i had a blast. Went on a banana boat (which basically tosses you out into the ocean at regular painful intervals).....Jet Ski-eddddd....just wallowed in the water.....and gave-in. To what? Just thoughts. I dont know. Its been a strange 4 days (maybe 5). But im SO super glad i went. A lot of stuff has changed. For starters there is still tons of water in my ear! Im totally outta the loop )study wise. And i met a pal. Someone who i connected with...and that is super-rare. Thank you Sa (pal)...sorry for accidently punching+kicking you. :D i dont know why i added the smiley! But somehow...you made the trip 79% of what it was! :):):)
Not a typical post...but then..what is? :P
Im BACK!
ps-Will try and put up some snaps!
ps2- i feel like im in this bubble that cant be pierced...its not exactly happy-happy...cuz that would be temporary..more like a cushion...that even if stuff gets to me...it wont get to ME. like, there will always be a part that gets squashed...but also another part (in that same squashed part) who will be okay. And being okay is very important.
Gotta keep moving. :D
Im back. Yup. The family holiday got over and honestly im in love. Not with the place...not with the people...not with anyone in particular. More like an idea. See, after years of putting it off (subconsciously saving the best for later i tell myself)...i read Ayn Rand' The Fountainhead. No i will not gush. I will not become a cliche'. I will not talk about the 5 pens i used up scribbling my thoughts on pages that never seemed to end..and that i almost clung to (i didnt even want it to end...cuz then there would be the resolution...and god help someone out there if it wasn't just bloody fantastic)...luckily..it was. but not in an obscene way. In a life-goes-on but lets-be-strong way. Okay, my way of expressing it is too poor but ...it changed stuff. It changed how i viewed stuff for the past few days. I think it may just have changed me for good. Oh damn. Ive never been a good adapter.
But lets talk about the weekend. Not in chronological order cuz that would just be an insult. Okay, not really. but ahhhhh. So bloody much to say/think/feel. One constant thought. Im in love. The sea...finalllyyyyy....im back to loving it in the same-yet-different way. It kinda pulls you in...(yes, i am aware of the scientific facts behind the tug..have had my basic education you know!)...and if you look at it from a certain angle (my angle)...it pulls away your negativity and swallows it up whole. A LOT of embarrassing stuff happened... i wore the wrong kinda shirt (ahem)....tore my Pjs (badlyyy!!)....kicked/punched someone really helpful (purely by accident)....it was all unplanned and messed up..but i had a blast. Went on a banana boat (which basically tosses you out into the ocean at regular painful intervals).....Jet Ski-eddddd....just wallowed in the water.....and gave-in. To what? Just thoughts. I dont know. Its been a strange 4 days (maybe 5). But im SO super glad i went. A lot of stuff has changed. For starters there is still tons of water in my ear! Im totally outta the loop )study wise. And i met a pal. Someone who i connected with...and that is super-rare. Thank you Sa (pal)...sorry for accidently punching+kicking you. :D i dont know why i added the smiley! But somehow...you made the trip 79% of what it was! :):):)
Not a typical post...but then..what is? :P
Im BACK!
ps-Will try and put up some snaps!
ps2- i feel like im in this bubble that cant be pierced...its not exactly happy-happy...cuz that would be temporary..more like a cushion...that even if stuff gets to me...it wont get to ME. like, there will always be a part that gets squashed...but also another part (in that same squashed part) who will be okay. And being okay is very important.
Gotta keep moving. :D
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Nothing in 'vain'
Okay, im totaaally crawling out of that mini-crater i fell into. (metaphorically)
Got a fabulous 'new' haircut. God! What IS it about having someone else wash/gently massage your hair and then having it expertly cut and blow dried to perfection?
Note- Man is a vain creature, who likes his luxuries. (Of course man refers to humanity as a whole...didnt have time to make it feministic-ally correct..forgive me my spunky ancestors)
Spunky- now THERES a word i like. Its got that whole kickass feel behind it. Almost something you would expect a younger arnold schwarzenegger to whisper to a co-worker whose just saved the world from a massive alien invasion. "you know baby, this is somehting i jusss gOttttta tell you...*cough cough*...you got some mighty fine spunk"... and the co-worker wouldnt simper sweetly but probably blow up another alien that was about to kill arnold. (i should REALLY not watch so much TV)
Speaking of which Private Practice seems like a nice carry-on version of Greys Anatomy. No really, i thought it would be crap and stuff...but very nice. Alisons moved on to a 'new' place with new people and well........somehow, i like it. Makes sense to move on from the dead past right? or even dormant complicated past! *yay* So i got a haircut and she moved to a different city and started a new kind of Medical Practice...parallel lives eh?
Other than the usual...there are possibilities of great plans...a family holiday maybe! *yaaaay*...just to make sure im all packing up (mentally) and yeah...somewhere between soup+salad last night and an 8am drink of water...i seem to have given a ride to some passing germs. Got cold :(
Oh boohoo...at least my hair looks fabulous!...okay, vain day it is! Cheer for me Universe!
:D
Got a fabulous 'new' haircut. God! What IS it about having someone else wash/gently massage your hair and then having it expertly cut and blow dried to perfection?
Note- Man is a vain creature, who likes his luxuries. (Of course man refers to humanity as a whole...didnt have time to make it feministic-ally correct..forgive me my spunky ancestors)
Spunky- now THERES a word i like. Its got that whole kickass feel behind it. Almost something you would expect a younger arnold schwarzenegger to whisper to a co-worker whose just saved the world from a massive alien invasion. "you know baby, this is somehting i jusss gOttttta tell you...*cough cough*...you got some mighty fine spunk"... and the co-worker wouldnt simper sweetly but probably blow up another alien that was about to kill arnold. (i should REALLY not watch so much TV)
Speaking of which Private Practice seems like a nice carry-on version of Greys Anatomy. No really, i thought it would be crap and stuff...but very nice. Alisons moved on to a 'new' place with new people and well........somehow, i like it. Makes sense to move on from the dead past right? or even dormant complicated past! *yay* So i got a haircut and she moved to a different city and started a new kind of Medical Practice...parallel lives eh?
Other than the usual...there are possibilities of great plans...a family holiday maybe! *yaaaay*...just to make sure im all packing up (mentally) and yeah...somewhere between soup+salad last night and an 8am drink of water...i seem to have given a ride to some passing germs. Got cold :(
Oh boohoo...at least my hair looks fabulous!...okay, vain day it is! Cheer for me Universe!
:D
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