To New Beginnings

Satsang today
I love life

Today I give up all my baggage.
All memories that pull one down to regret, guilt, what-if's and the wish for better judgement.
I give it up because I'm starting out.

The only image of the past I will carry from now is health, love and blessings.

Reborn at 22. That's me :D

A happy-day-to-me! :D

Roughly six more hours and I won't be able to (honestly) say I'm *just* 21.

We think of memories around 31st december or on birthdays.

The realization that something new is about to begin makes us want to remember the old... at least the old that matters.

Things more momentous than my very-recent attraction towards my own chinese-style garments

(I never realized how comfy the old dragon-print dress-robe was!)

And just when I was about to dip in the pool of mellow -reflections... I am no longer alone in the house. 

Many cool things have happened this year... some of which have been covered by the blog

(like a faithful dog salivating at my heels, begging for a crumb.. it's insatiable need for details I tell you!)

Top of my head I can remember a few worth smiling over

-University entrance.. It was my best, most fulfilling paper.

-The interactive lectures with my mentors.

-A few scattered birthdays :)..and birthday gift shopping!

-Phone conversations averaging 1 hour every-single-day

-Sense of growing right-ness and love

-The ashram and rishikesh, 

-Ahmedabad...Gorging on khichdi and gud for nearly every meal (and disliking the meals that weren't khichdi and gud!!!)..The decision to settle in happy Gujarat after I retire.. that was a fun week!

-275 coffee dates and probably visiting every rooftop-cafe in a certain part of Delhi :)

we've probably lost us a fortune! ;)

-spending lazy days missing DU. missing lazy days when studying. 

I've loved the process of turning 22.

It has been a truly lovely..loving..liberating experience.

Happy last-day-of-being-21 to me :)

And Thank you to mommy who decided a baby wasn't that bad of an idea to have on May 13th 1988 :)

Biologically, emotionally, mentally, intellectually... mom and dad..you have shaped me.

Thank you, I think I've turned out happy.. and that's as good as it gets :D

Go on and on and on.

Somehow, in an insane way, the 5 weeks of examinations are over.
Mom and Dad have made it 30 years together today.

Put on some 5 kgs due to stress-eating this last month.
(yawn)
I'm going to skip the guilt trip and enjoy my last few days of calorie-worry-less eating.
Till I turn 22 this thursday.
Till bestie turns 22 this saturday.

Monday onwards healthy eating, exercise and the dream of the backless choli :)

Oddly enough its not like the stress has melted away with 5 pm today.
I guess we truly Are responsible for how seriously we burden ourselves.

There are So many things I wanna do in the next three months.
2008 I drove myself crazy working 3 internships.
2009 I lazed and didn't study for a single entrance. Pompous a**.
2010 I plan on doing a lot with myself. Academically start on a new chapter.
Look overseas at crazy-a** no pay post-grad courses. Double masters? sure. Phd? sure :)
Totally gone beyond what anyone thinks.
So grateful to God for that.
I'm gonna do my thing and have loveliness as a part of my routine. I just know it, I'm one of those few people who are just going to be happy. Always.
I won't make the most money or have the skinniest kids (with my genes! hah! :) )
But I just know I'll be excited about learning every single day. Okay, every alternate day *grins*

Plan to take off on a trip.
I think the time is right for it to happen.
Had a dream about it, felt right somehow.
This is going to be one hell of a holiday :)

Going to go back to painting.
Tomorrow I will fish out my old oil-paints and half-complete paintings.
If nothing else, I will paint pretty shades and smiley colours.
The colours will GRIN I tell you!
:)

Planning on reading a LOT.
On religion, spirituality and pilates.
hah!
Recommendations are welcome if anyone is actually interested in helping!
I know SOMEONE is reading out there!.. how else are the reading counts going up? huh?

Of course have to be the wedding-helper with darrrling sisters' knot-tying affair coming up.
The dance, music, clothes... are things I will possibly be the sounding board for.
Moral support here I come.

Feel like painting my room a creamier cream. Myself.
Therapeutic no?

The exams went okay I guess. Time will tell.
day-dawn-storm. all part of a single dream.
Chalo, thats the way it goes.

Also I think I'll stay happy because I want to.
It's important to love each experience and yourself while you're at it.
I mean, I put on weight so I dug out this old chinese top I had (pre-weight-loss phase)
wore larger jeans..higher heels...diamonds in my ears and ROCKED it.
Looked and felt better than I have at my skinniest most self-conscious phase.
Decided I am NOT going to talk-beeechi(hehe) about anyone.
Turns out you take on that persons bad karma if you do.

In a wonderful phase with my love v (you dont know her, dont bother wondering! :) )
we had the most beautiful satsang ever (spiritual conversation that brings out crazy HAPPY vibes) It was unexpected and just..lovely!
love her so much!

Thank you God.
I don't care if its unfashionable to be in love with you!
You make the happiest in the whole wide world and beyond.
You and mum.
Well you make mum happy too!
I love you both. and dad. and sister. and doggies. and my beautiful loving strong friends.
dont think of it as a hierarchy lovers.. love is love babay... there is no one, two or three.

Muah!
ps- gonna watch zillion hours of star WORLD! yeaaahbaby! :):D

Justonemorestepleft

Its hard to keep the tendrils of excitement under control.
Must.

For just 29.5 hours, more.

*glee I already feel*

(Am i allowed to)Love LSD?

So monday night became movie-session till 3 am.

I still have my exams but VS had come over...sooooo....we saw 

Friends, Gilmore Girls, Castle aaaaand... LSD.

Reasons why I actually loved the movie (that most people found crass, vulgar, long and senseless)

I'm already giving you the Other side of the argument just in case you sue me for gross-misrepresentation after reading This review.

Warning- Watching LSD with your dadi and co. may lead to the squirming-syndrome. Avoid.

Love, Sex, aur Dhokha

It broke away from the typical 3 stories interwoven and butting in every 3 minutes. It had 3 distinct plots with clear breaks so one could actually register a connection with each.

The most drastic (read violent) plot was kept at the beginning. Cleverly keeping the audience mentality of a 'happy' ending in mind. It's very important that people aren't Haunted by the movie. Bad dreams don't translate into money in the producer's bank.

Unconventionally, the most intense scenes didn't show the faces of the speaker. Eg. in the narration of a death of a friend, attempted seduction of a star(?).

The former was brilliant because it could be understood as an admission on the part of the director that there are some things film cannot do justice to.

Raw emotion can be very ugly. Overwhelming. It admitted to the inadequacy of the very medium through which they narrated the story. I think that's pretty brave.

Also the actors!!! The director didn't go for a Single good looking chap to relieve the eyes. I mean, it was ordinary brilliance. People you can pick up off the street, boys whom you will never speak to, girls you won't find incredible attractive. Sweet, yes. Beautiful, no.

And somehow they all 'fit'. Brilliant apt casting.... right from the verbally abusive father to the giggly naive daughter. Apt.

The subject wasn't unfamiliar. Episodes described have happened, are happening... sadly, may continue to happen. It's not a *beware* story. It's intent is not to make one more wary (though perhaps we should be) but it just Is a story that almost documents the process behind daily tragedies.

The dialogues Deserve a mention. Unlike Ishqiya which seemed to shove in swear words for audience hoots... LSD made the language seem a natural accessory of the characters portrayed. It never felt out of place or unexpected coming from the mouths of the people it was put into.

Harsh? Yes. Inaccurately put? No.

In fact, even the nasty remarks about colour were quite brilliant. They exposed the bias of people of course, exposed a man trying to wriggle out of a spot his conscience wasn't comfortable in... an interesting tool to expose prejudice and dying sincerity(half-heartedly attacking what's vulnerable)

I could go on... technical tools, the digital format, the depth of characters, the lack of unnecessary drama(skipping the decision making process and mentioning the result in passing)... I found them all favorable.

But, that's just me.

I don't know if I would 'suggest' the movie to a lot of people, or any!

This would be me putting my own personal take out there...whatever that's worth :)

(probably a few million dollars, someday!) :)

Have a happy weekend!

Ps- Judge away but the respect is back for Ekta Kapoor! :D

*hiccup*honesty*hiccup*

Undiplomatically speaking

There IS a colour bias and we all need to deal with it. Some are biased towards fair skin and others towards dark. There are bigger problems at hand. Find someone who likes the way you look and someone you like to look at. Try and find both qualities in the same person.
*chuckles*

Women can never treated as 'equal' to men in Delhi, India. It can't happen because of a woman's suseptability to rape, to injury, and finally due to a deep rooted fear of loss of honour when the rape/injury is made public knowledge. The branding of a woman as a victim or loose are both currently fatal. We can only control our own worldview. Respect men, women, animals.. if you want to make a difference.

Being Over-Weight is *yawn* not impressive superficially speaking. If you're uncomfortable with the way you are being 'treated' then deal with it. Either exercise those kilos off or be comfortable with the idea that not everyone will think you're hot. The deal is, even if you lose 10 kgs...still... not everyone will think you're hot. So get to a point where you're comfortable with yourself. Work at it. When you feel good about you, well that's better than a chocolate cupcake.

Interestingly, the main problem in all of the above is a feeling of victimization.
Unfair TREATMENT meted out to you by a shallow industry marketing fairness creams and bone-melting sugarfree through funny sexist ads.
I think the time is right for me to say what I really think.
There's a need to get over this persecution complex.
I can say it over and over in a million different ways.

The key is to love yourself and if there Is something you don't like about yourself...
Like
-your laziness
-your morning breath
-your thighs
-your skin colour
-your nail paint
You can work on it. It's okay to want to be fairer. It's okay to want to be more tanned.
It's okay to want to have a bust line and its ALSO okay to look like you're just a teeny bit starved. I'm not sayin STARVE..but the looking-starved look does seem to be desirable right now.
Go about it the healthy way... work out, eat right...fit into that tiny bikini!
Scrub that nail paint off :)
Do what it takes to make yourself happy.
Life is too precious to always live diplomatically...
Sometimes the wildest thing you can do is conform.
Conform if it makes you happy.
Pink-Green-Purple hair is a cool way to rebel.
But don't rebel if it doesn't make you happy.
That's all I'm saying.

Let's be happy now :)
Time for a smile :D

Shiny Bubbles

Some people think I'm a romantic.
I guess everyone means something different when they say it.

It's like calling someone 'girly'.
Person A thinks girly means cute.
Person B thinks its a step above a 19th cent. hanging-on-a-mans-shoulder damsel.
(or do i mean a step below?)

A romantic.

I Believe in chemistry? Yes
Believe in romance? Yes
Believe in the concept of 2 people being happy together? Yaaaaaais.

Believe in happily-ever-after? Hmm. Toughie there.
You see I believe you can live happily-ever-after but I don't necessarily think a Prince need be in the picture for that.
I mean, yes, there will be company for most of us in our old age... but somehow I think one can't depend on someone else to KEEP them happy...forever! (even momentarily actually)
I have nothing against men. I don't think they are cheating lying scum or something.
I just think its very hard to live with those kind of expectations from anyone.

God willing, you will meet a nice person who you like to laugh with and you suit each other temperamentally. I hope that happens for you. I believe it Can happen for some people.
But ultimately, when your hair is turning grey and your back is giving you trouble... don't wonder where the fairy-tale went.
I think life may be about embracing each bit, as gracefully as our nature and circumstances permit.
There is great dignity in acceptance.

What I'm saying is I do believe in love. True love.
But I think one must look beyond the obvious for that.

I could spell it out, but heck, even if its someone else's template that I've happily downloaded...
It is Still my blog.
And ambiguity is back ladies.

(check out http://www.theseekerscribbles.blogspot.com/! that's where I spill the beans and spell it out)
:)
Thanks to shwuti for the happy directions to the template maker.
Happy day tomorrow to you all.
God Bless!