Why when how.

Face it. We're mean. You me everybody. Especially everybody. The rest of the world. People other than me. Clear enough? Sparkling Crystal clear. Enough to reflect your own disconcerted face? Good.
Here is how the primal part of us functions. In a nutshell, we like to cut other peoples head to make ourselves feel taller. Now we can do that subtly or obviously...tactfully...cunningly...unconsciously...mentally...behind someones back...or not hiding a snigger. any which way you please. But we do it. Often. How great do YOU feel when someone acts stupid? Or more accurately...acts stupid according to YOUR personal standards of 'smart behaviour'. huh? Maybe 'great' isnt the word. How often has someone else (around you) accused XYZ of being too thin/fair/dark/snobby/fat or just plain inadequate. far too many to remember? if not...think harder. Think of ALL those snide comments that pinch. Not you. but that someone else. Think of XYZ. They matter. They're people too you know. And even you think...hey whats the harm in a lil bitching. There is. It makes YOU the person who bitched. Or an accomplice to the bitching, legally speaking. Feel good now?

Have you ever pulled anyone down just because? Really. You havent! Well bestow a sparkly crown on your own head and call yourself an angel or at least semi-divine. Think you know someone who hasnt? haha. Dig deeper. They too have their 'weak' moments.
Cummon, it was just a light joke you argue. We're not HURTING anyone i hear. Realize the impact of words? Direct them at yourself. an ouch feeling eh? But alright. Lets give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe XYZ deserved the caustic comment. Look at her. Dressed like a 'tramp'. Uhoh. But what makes you the supreme judge i ask. Democracy you answer. Hollow words my friends. Lets not bring freedom of thought into this. Just an excuse under which we veil our real intentions. Its all about creating the "other". The very same person against whom you assume you'll be appearing in a better light. Lets condemn their flaws... cuz they're more obvious. Easily despised. and more easily identified. Why let someone else be happy? Naahhh! heads must roll....cuz YOU got freedom of thought...freedom to let loose your own insecurities on the world. The unsuspecting XYZ who cant even respond. Cuz hey! you didnt wanna HURT her so you just chuckled behind your book. carefully wiped off any sign that a smile ever crossed your face. Act like it never happened. Cuz now you feel good. about yourself.

But i suggest you think twice. When people laugh with you, you're also under scrutiny. Why DID you laugh? Why create an other? Its the same as being racist/classist/elitist....all the 'ists'.
Today you're raping an image. Jeering at anothers flaws. Think you're so pure? Really, you're not. No one is. Go beyond what people think. Of you and of everyone else. If you're trapped in this perception...you limit only yourself. If you think about it...... what ARE you doing? in the most cliche' way...when you point a finger...3 more point back at you.
A lifeskills class in 12th talked about a man who had a temper. He was told...each time you lose it...put a nail in the wall...each time you control it...take one out. A month passes and the wall is full of nails... 3 more months and most of the nails are out. He goes back to the advice giver...proudly shows him the now empty wall. But where there used to be a smooth surface...there are now holes. Even if you take your words back...their impact still remains. As obvious as the marks the nails left behind. Life. Its quite something else.

Fingers had been twitching to write for ages...but hadn't had the time. Finally. Feels like some little thing managed to uncoil just a miniscule bit somewhere deep in an obscure part of me. Thats hidden. But felt.

Ambiguous question for the day...do we only learn from pain? If yeah...then is pain...inevitable...necessary...justified?
i.have.no.clue.
(maybe one day i'll crack the mystery)