Gordimer Re-interpreted

“I don’t believe in love… and give me a reason why I should
You left me for that skinny bitch…
The one who’s white and came to ‘help’ with our apartheid fight.
How gracious of her, how extremely nice...
To dirty her feet in the mud and in the bargain, get some heat free at night.

I’ve heard those stories of men leaving their women,
But you always professed that you would be ‘different’
You left me and the family,
Left us in the cold
When the fire went out,
Out, alone I had to go.

Like a character in those plays, they show once in a while
Or those obscure hindi movies,
Where dreams melt in the rain
But here, there was no rain
just the pellets of guns fired
and the smoke from what had transpired
but have no fear, I was told
‘your husband is committed’
Committed of course,
To pleasuring his whore.

Surprised at these words?
That I am so bitter?
But didn’t you want this?
To hear me pine?
To see me shiver?
To hear just how lonely sleeping alone gets at night?
Surely I should cry, so you feel more of a man.
And swell up with your own importance,
because thats a part of you I’ll understand?

But I’m no house cat or domesticated dog
You hold no chains to keep me to this house
I’ve survived so far and that too without ‘needing’ you
I’ve heard those whispers when I’m longing for sleep
Your breath only too clear in that half-awake mind
‘I need Hannah, not you… oh Aila if only it wasn’t for you’

So this Aila of ‘yours’, she doesn’t give a damn no more
And now sings a song that our Baby taught me
‘If I don’t believe in love’, but without the ‘if’ in between.
I sing just the first line but over and over again, just so that it’s all clear;
Crystal clear in my head.
You tore away my love and my faith in it lasting,
You snatched it away and crawled with it to her
With that precious gift I gave you
And you ask me now,
You ask me now!
With that look in your eyes…why I don’t believe in love.
And why things have changed so…”

Yours Truly :)

Context- Google, Gordimer 'My Sons Story'

Ps- Writing this, when i should be Studying! Sheesh! :P