I had almost forgotten my old bedroom and scrolling through folders unopened for years.. I found pictures. The bedroom still exists and so does the bed.. but I moved to another friendly-plaster room in the house a while ago. (Friendly-plaster merits a description.. let's just say it often jumps down from the ceiling to hug the earth. ahem)
But since the bedroom was no longer mine.. all the hangings were peeled off and some didn't make it all the way across the house. They got rolled up and stuck in closets, flattened and buried under mattresses and of course relegated to the garage.. ie. not going to be used again space.
When I was 13, a good 12 years ago.. so stave off the harsh judgement :)..
I was deeply in, what I thought, love with boy bands and particularly all blonde singers :)
There used to be posters all around the room.. me, swooning over Nick.. and sister swooning over the dark haired bandmate whose name I never bothered to learn.
with cheesy poetry bubbling inside me, I'd pen down verses or musings right on the poster.. ah, to be 13.. ah, thankfully not-to-be-13 again!
With college at 18 (and onwards), the walls noticed another shift. The board put up anticipating studious "To Do" lists was punched with endless pictures from the days when photos were tangible things to hold, caress and admire the ageing paper. New experiences through Theatre were all recorded and tacked up along with pink hearts strung together.. holding precious expressions of love from friends who finally managed to spring a "Surprise" birthday on me!
Now at 25 I look around the room.. all photos limited to one frame of a collage.. presented as we bid adieu to college. The space so different now. More of a private space. Quieter. Softer. Nothing screaming for attention. Well, except the occasional bouquet that finds its way into the room. Pictures- now aspirations to a different mental landscape. Very few invited to share. "Let's go out" I say, closing the door behind me.
I wonder about 30... what will I see? where will I be? what will I be surrounded with? what will I aspire towards?...
musing, with love
7 comments:
this makes me think and ask, if you should compare your state of mind at those same times, would you say that you have perhaps a more sober way to you now than before?(not in the sense of alcohol)
It was good to see that some things in life always stay. always keep said blog! puhleez
hahah.. I think well that I Was doing that.. because the outer becomes a reflection of the inner, right?
especially in the private space..
so I guess ill have my over-the-top mass of flowers moments now too!.. but they're fewer now.. yes, yes, thou art correct!
hope all is well with youuuu:)
It's so funny you mentioned that in the last line because I Just wrote a post (Saved in the drafts) Today about why I write and why I would keep this blog around!! :):)
ah, that's not a coincidence I dislike happening :D
but seriously, good work really, keeping this blog going. most people(including me) are extroverted bloggers. we like feedback. in fact, I tend to write much more beautifully and in context if someone asks me to write something for them rather than spontaneously. Its not really a bad thing, but the downside is one can get bored if there's too few readers. however, in you I see something completely else.
it would be suffice to say that i feel you have a really amazing mind with funky thought processes, that is, not really common these days.
In fact, when i came back to read your blog, it really had a big effect. After encountering the same crowd of people(of ignorance, stubbornness and suchthings) for a long time it kinda restored some faith in humanity for me.
(I assume in good faith you will not take this the wrong way) often(once in a ?yellow moon) i get reminded of this while my daily goings, that how much i would be willing to go through to instead have some chai with someone like you instead and discussing the details of random things like why/not mother dairy will slowly replace DMRC as the milk supplier of delhi.
phew, long comment.
almost a blog post. lol. yet I dont mind that.
What a heart warming, nostalgic post. I can tell you that when you are 30, your walls will have at least one Baby Growth Chart. :P I have it and I am yet to turn 30 (feb next year, shudder)
Tee hee hee.
Keep writing, my love! I've been reading and if not commenting, then lurking here for years now and it always is a treat to read your posts. Hugs!
Thank you for writing! Keep posting!
RETA@ http://evenhaazer.blogspot.com
Well, its be nearly 4 Whole years since this post.. and I'm a year away from 30 now!
no baby growth charts just yet... at least not on my wall! :)
but life has changed so dramatically.. and still changing.. constantly!
wow.
Post a Comment