The Melody

Still enjoying the smooth melodies.
So yesterday was not a lazy Sunday. but amidst the activity, a second grasped firmly.. sipping water and letting the breath rise and fall gently.. eyes feasting on nature seen through a sheer veil. and a memory made.
a soft split second and an expansion of the heart.
On Earth, what will rise must fall.
Seconds of quiet. Moments of frenzy. The Rise. The fall.
The pounding of the waves will continue.
Feeling the breath rise.
Inhaling the melody.
I used to understand it as 'focusing on the light'.
Now, making the light the memory.
Switched on and Shining through the night. 

These moments

Is. A little bit in liking .

Jo Bheji Thi Dua... 

Accidental Road Trips. 3G. Music.
Life, just a touch on pause as we speed past vehicles muscling their way forward.

Memories are made of these moments. a collection of the tremblings of the heart.

Yeh Raatein Yeh Mausam

a whole lot of rambling

It's not hot per se. It's as if the heat has expanded beyond all previous confines, floated outward like a dry blanket, launched itself into space and is currently hovering around the one who is typing. here. in this room. as T walks around keeping an eye on everyone and everything. He's a doll, a poppet, a cookie, a wise, strong, handsome kushmush. As you may have realised, or may not actually, T is currently inhabiting the body a non-human family member. But he is so much more. Oh, just realised Toots and T are both "T's". The heat is obviously getting to me.

He obviously understood from my energy that I was raving about him online because for absolutely no reason he has just finished cuddling with me. This is a good day. :D
So yes, I have to learn to catch my impulsive and compulsive urges before they run off on a clicking spree. well, almost no harm no foul.

Someone elses reminisces about the past, provoked mine and I indulged in some light stalking of my own past self. it feels like stalking a different person, in case you're wondering but i kid... i know no one is wondering anything... this is just me talking.. writing to myself. Anyway.

So as i stalked past me, the clicks sort of happened. and then i undid them because, what is the point even?
There is no point ergo, it must be undone. sort of. ish.
The only point is I had to leave the abode 25 minutes ago to run 3 errands and I.Did.Not.

pause for long sigh.

Speaking of, everyone should listen to Sanam Puri. The fellow can sing... his voice is smooth like how people describe whiskey but actually whiskey isn't at all like that. But his voice is. Smooth.
Smooth. Especially with the oldies.

But maybe I shouldn't praise him too much. My paltry description might lead to skyrocketing of his name/fame/price and then how would he come over to serenade us over dinner then?
That was sarcasm.
Hmm
Must practice more. snorts.

Let's be honest. sarcasm and I mix about as well as oil and water.
we don't.
I'm more umm who knows? I'm trying to know.
the layers are peeling
the vows are made
must.know.self.
not the fragile personality. the permanent.

Listening now to poppet at age 21 days.
She's grown so much. Miraculous how the Divine works.
my Shoniya. my little angel.

interrupting my own self. ta!

Thank You

A wave of thankfulness for

-google
-gmail
-google maps
-laptops
-technological leaps
-mac operating system
-user problem solving forums
-the *God given* ability to type, perceive, see, understand, think, respond

of all the rants over all the years, at least one post devoted to
Thankfulness.
Thank You Divine, the One who sent the idea to the creation, the million invisible ones
who worked with yearning to catch the transmissions being sent
and created them for us. The billion + users.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.

On a good note

we are approaching another milestone in life.. someone had once suggested that such moments be held on to for the potential of positive strength they carry embedded in them .. a strength that carries us forward through the days to come. 

I'm excited about it, much like I'm excited about approaching birthdays. Enthusiastically with a vague sense of wanting to hop around in joy. Im probably not the best person to be around on such occasions. I'm definitely more annoying. Probably. But excitement lends a thick skin so I don't really notice. These are all retrospective musings. 

Of course my pure oh-wow for a fellow female being continues. How does she do it? Amazing. 

Anyway I've also introduced the closest ones to her fabulous existence. It shows how much love and patience they carry that they have not judged me for this 😁

The days of the week swim by in anonymity. Only Sunday comes as a general peak in the ever-on treadmill of life. Why treadmill? Because it's got a hard surface, it's pace is almost always a touch higher than you want it.. and it's good for you! 

I do wish P was in my life a wee bit more but seems like we're a touch apart due to the very different spaces we inhabit in the "phase" of life. A polite way of saying, things change. 

Waiting for her to hop on over to this phase. 

Also, A has vanished even though we're in the same space but diff geographically. She probably feels the same way about me. Hmm. But I'm sure we're both different people now. We were in sync at 18 and now a decade plus gone by with very limited contact. Miss her though. Past me misses past her.

Maybe we'll reconnect?

Anyway. I find it genuinely difficult to text back immediately. 

Uff. Such a tangled web I weave. Full of profuse apologies for delayed responses. Ugh.

I don't want to pass on any of these traits to the little one even inadvertently. 

I think this is how parents change.. when they have a little one just waiting to latch on to any habits or behaviour patterns they see. I'm starting this journey a little sooner with Mami-hood.

(Side note- love you poppet 💖)

You make me want to be a much much better me.

Life is a miracle. 

💖

2018

It Is still 2018 right ? It hasn't gone by already? Like those strange individuals at gatherings who wish you "hi, and bye" in the same totally-not-awkward hug?

Having just come back from much warmer lands, besides appreciating Delhi winters I have realised the annual "Hello" blog was missing.. much much regret and all that. Munchkin of my heart is now 4 months and counting 💕 There isn't a bright enough heart icon to express how I feel. Excited about the pending Mami time 😍

Beyond loving the cold, I believe this year will whizz past at much greater speed and the milestones I suspect will revolve around the littlest precious one...


And of course this blog was interrupted for a large number of days.. but here we are again.. whizzed into the future. Which sounds like someone releasing bodily fluids into the breeze but I didn't mean that of course. Of course.

This exact present moment is a heady cocktail of feeling tired, yet happy, and enjoying the unnatural sweetness of the gum I really shouldn't be munching on.
Looking forward to the Sunday-ness ahead... adding to the list... I love lazy Sundays 😍

Also wondering casually what on earth has happened to the general public. Many people seem to be acting completely bonkers. Which is cause for more than mild concern. Choosing when to call it out and when to let it pass. Still can't understand though.. bonkers is the new black it seems.
Didyagetit?

The (nearly) Thirty

So it's officially *that* time of the decade when I list all the wonderful things that I currently find wonderful .. as a sort of one-day-nostalgic post for (hopefully)much smarter future me ...
thus

Things I love (still)
-Maggie
-completely sugary 24/7 cold coffee
-pasta momos (reluctantly and sporadically kept on ONE menu in delhi.. that I know of)
-hot tea

This should seriously have been renamed things I love to eat ..

Things I love (besides food)

-silly books
-funny books
-sci fi books
-thriller-conspiracy theory books
-airplane time where I can devour all of the above (Guilt Free)
-pre flight lounge time when I can continue to devour any kind of ridiculous book
-sudoku books

Favourite (?) Favourites

- nostalgic trips back to college with the girls
- sleepovers with the fafa's .. much much 💖
- coffee meetings 😘
- designated survivor time
- survivor time
-lazy afternoons petting toots
- sleep mode (the guiltiest pleasure still)
And more because the umbrella of "favourites" is just too large
*ThankYouGod*

It's been an incredible last few decades of this memory bank ie. "me"
But the last of course has been the most life changing for the years to come

On that note welcoming two little pumpkin poppets that have changed my
Status from adult to full-fledged Mami and Bua 💖💖💖
Love you cookies !!

Tiny little cookie .. how you've made me grow up!! 😘😘😘
All the love ... always 💖💖💖