Miss Julie

Have done the (almost) unthinkable as a Lit kid, have started 'Miss Julie' without researching the author, historical context, political significance or societal repercussions (if any). *gasps all around* Having betrayed the very figure that fed me (mentally...dramatic eh?) i continue to gorge on the forbidden delight and wallow in the joy of simply reading without the burden of intricate analysis. Imagine my irritation when im still not able to completely eradicate that annoyin lil voice (buried somewhere in the grey matter) that keeps on a constant refrain of comments. 'Scandalous' it murmurs softly, inappropriate for any audience before the 19th century...do have a look at the date of the text will ya? it suggests sneaking in ways to lure me on the 'right' path of accurate information. hah i scoff it, there is no going back now (hair flip) this path of mystery has been taken on after a few moments of thought.... i shall not be deterred from my goal to ENJOY this book (in the 'traditional' sense, no bg work!)
So hows it been so far...pretty cool actually.

The protagonist (guess her name!) has a fairly promising kind of rebel forming liasons (word that will never be used in real life alert) with the domestic help (hence scandalous)
Her portrayal is somewhat on the 'wild' side (smirks. just because) and is unrestrained in her verbal passion for the butler (his name has been forgotten) is kinda exciting to read in a Lit book.

Its a lil reminiscent of Lysistrata of course, with the theme being women empowerment (in a sense) but is women aggression really womens liberation? we now have the freedom to be whats seen as uncouth or crass? Kind of a contemporary issue thats still been battled ! Even today, we still need to fall to the level of truck drivers to drive home the point to ruffians that we're fairly serious when we say back off. In her age (whenever that was) she is the depiction of a woman who is articulating her need for the man, taking the initiative and the moment she does that...she loses class-power and reputation. While the guys gets an ego boost as well as a feeling of superiority over her as a whole for her being 'weak' enough to say that she wanted a man. him. My point being, does it make one vulnerable to talk about ones feelings? Does it then mean our feelings are something to be ashamed of? That we're only putting up a facade of feeling a certain way because we're afraid society will judge us if we show them what our real opinion is.

So then is it a power play between not just the sexes but also people as a whole? Who dirties the societal version of themselves first? Who trips on the slippery road of deception and accidently lets the world witness the moss covered truth?

In this warped reality does everyone feel that what they're thinking is so inappropriate that they've stopped admitting it to themselves even? Or have we internalised the 'normal' factor and are so far convinced that we HAVE to be a particular way to rationalise who we're perceived as. In a simplistic take on this... if X wants to be a 'good' girl..she will try to either portray qualities that she thinks defines a 'good' girl or genuinely BELIEVE that she has all the same qualities and will still take care to display them. On the other more volatile hand, the 'rebel' who does not find some of the 'good' qualities to be a part of her persona will rebel by constructing herself in the very same definition of society, only playing the 'negative' lead. Complete with physical rebellion (hairstyle, sexual activity, clothes, basic response to conversation- some or all)
girl rebel Y will unconsciously try and find her niche and live up to THAT ideal, hoping rather than believing that she does 'fit in' somewhere.

Having progressed far beyond 'Miss Julie' i have simply articulated what ive always felt. People are pretty busy internalising concepts of themselves/trying to live up to them/trying to rebel against em'/pretending that they dont know what the f*** is being talked about and ignoring it (ignorance is bliss being the common subconscious refrain) So what now? Does this mean we're condemned to live by the intangible parameters set by society for all time? Dont know for sure but i hope not. A very milk and water end i must admit. A tirade that ends in confusion and not clarity. An issue that gurgles at the very foundation of who we think we are.

Lets face it. There are some things we don't know. Trying to be aware of them will cloud the mind and hopefully one day, someone out there (with a clouded mind) will get a moment of revelation (while chopping wood or something) and sit down in awe at the intricacy of the map thats been chartered for each person...marvelling at how things will eventually make sense and fall into place ... Of course then his axe (for chopping wood) will accidently graze against his neck and he shall be no more. The danger of him telling the rest of us ignorant ones will be too great and we all need to trample with clumsy movements on our own unique path.

Which reminds me of a line of a poem i read in 8th (i think).... Dream, but dont step on others' dreams to achieve yours..(something like that) So i guess all we can do, being 'good' and all, is to prance around our own path and make a heartfelt attempt to not accidently mow down the grass on someone elses road to enlightenment/death/alternative version of destination.

Am still reading 'Miss Julie' and i wanted it to be an uncomplicated read. sigh.