For the past couple of days i've found myself waiting impatiently for the 2.45 bell to ring. That signals the end of the academic day and my entry into the audi. Its beautiful, the audi that is. Spacious with warm tones...best part? The Stage. Wide....golden brown....and toe curlingly attractive.
Right now, i love Things Fall Apart primarily because of the person who's teaching us. Major drooling-dripping-and-tripping-on-own-drool kind of respectful awwww!!!!! Basically, i love her. *beams*
B, our director, is making me push myself beyond limits of either propriety or comfort.... we're currently exploring romance/sexuality on stage.... laymans terms? girl on girl 'action' ...ahem.
But its more about discovering nuances in each stage of the relationship. Yesterday was a total disaster and today i kinda made sure i faced my worst fear. Proud to say, i was able to fight the discomfort. Moved beyond it. I had almost forgotten how much fun working with B could be. The rest of the world just melts away into the then colourless background.
Am almost aching to find the right words to fit the situation. Guess they dont exist. Sometimes i wonder what im really upto. My actions and dreams for the future seem a lil contradictory.
Dont want a future with v but still hold on to him.
Dont want to be a journalist, yet i find myself working as one!
Dont want to play mommy to coddle-me-types and yet unable to wriggle free.
(okay, the last isnt that relevant)
Like i told someone else the other day...maybe if i knew where i wanted to be...then i would be able to work TOWARDS it. until then, i guess its all talk and disjointed actions for me. My own personal script better include clear stage directions real soon..... or atleast a miracle where the path is unveiled to me. (preferably at the beach, but im not too choosy)
*i wish myself luck*
(it'll be real cool to see what it is i feel about the theatre workshop once its over) :D
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