Followers Anew

Showing posts with label time slipping by. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time slipping by. Show all posts

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Blog-Fears

You know something I've never really been able to digest?
Yes, of course, hot chilly potato sticks... as yesterdays binge(!) proved.
But in a more intangible sense...
I've never fully come to terms with the fact that what I TYPE here will/may
have some TANGIBLE impact on my 'real' relationships.

For the longest time I thought my readership was nil so 
what did I do?
Being unaware in my ditzy universe of google
(who led all happy curious folk RIGHT to this blog).. 
I would blog about Everyone. Honestly(more or less), but in the MOMENT.
Dangerous eh?

So for the people I wasn't bumping into everyday... it became a meter of gauging how
I felt for them.
But what I wrote was a feeling of bitterness that lasted about 7 seconds and I 'published'
out of a false sense of rebellion.
The blog became a means to hurt potential relationships.
Thankfully, No lasting harm but TONS of baggage.. one I had to eventually sift through.
Yuck.
Ever come face to face with your own pettiness?
It aint pretty.

I guess in the current scenario where most of us spend 2-6 hours in virtual pastimes... a blog becomes a vital tool of communication.
Of opinions, of respect, of disrespect, of ones 'current state of mind'
More effective than twitter even.
Certainly more controversial, my experience says.

Ultimately I'm getting quite S-I-C-K of facebook.
Don't go on about 'privacy options' etc.
I've tried them all but the sheer PRESSURE of deciding who stays ON the limited profile, OFF it, what material they CAN have access to.. its EXHAUSTING.
and Pointless.

Just so you know friend-lies.. don't be surprised if one day you can't 'search' me out.
A-lllll-most sick of it for good.
Almost.

Toodles and Much Love.
*smack*


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

1.2.3. GO!

God! I'm 20. 20. 20. 20. 20.

Well, of course God knows, assuming my belief system is even .01% accurate. God knows.
but wait, do I know? Do i?
Do i realize the full implications of the baggage that comes with?
Its no longer all about melody and moving-with-the-flow crap.
People are DOING stuff for where they wanna be 4 months from now. or 5. maybe 6.
and i. am. watching. them. do. it.

Unless i strap on those running shoes, all these fancy words wont mean a flying-rats-left-bum.
They will mean nothing! nothing! nothing!
i should study Eliot.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

When we meet.

I have a deadline to meet. At 9 pm tonight we shall clasp hands under the banyan tree and hope that we have each lived up to our side of the bargain. I need to have pinpointed (in minute accuracy) where exactly i want to spend the next few years of my life... which career is most satisfying... how to get there and my deadline? my deadline has to present itself all decked up in pink and grey. Grey to be more fitting for the sober circumstances under which we meet. It will not be a cracker filled evening with patakas lighting up the night sky. it shall be two people 'catching up'. Time and finally, decisions. Or more accurately, the singular decision.