Blog-Fears

You know something I've never really been able to digest?

Yes, of course, hot chilly potato sticks... as yesterdays binge(!) proved.

But in a more intangible sense...

I've never fully come to terms with the fact that what I TYPE here will/may

have some TANGIBLE impact on my 'real' relationships.

For the longest time I thought my readership was nil so 

what did I do?

Being unaware in my ditzy universe of google

(who led all happy curious folk RIGHT to this blog).. 

I would blog about Everyone. Honestly(more or less), but in the MOMENT.

Dangerous eh?

So for the people I wasn't bumping into everyday... it became a meter of gauging how

I felt for them.

But what I wrote was a feeling of bitterness that lasted about 7 seconds and I 'published'

out of a false sense of rebellion.

The blog became a means to hurt potential relationships.

Thankfully, No lasting harm but TONS of baggage.. one I had to eventually sift through.

Yuck.

Ever come face to face with your own pettiness?

It aint pretty.

I guess in the current scenario where most of us spend 2-6 hours in virtual pastimes... a blog becomes a vital tool of communication.

Of opinions, of respect, of disrespect, of ones 'current state of mind'

More effective than twitter even.

Certainly more controversial, my experience says.

Ultimately I'm getting quite S-I-C-K of facebook.

Don't go on about 'privacy options' etc.

I've tried them all but the sheer PRESSURE of deciding who stays ON the limited profile, OFF it, what material they CAN have access to.. its EXHAUSTING.

and Pointless.

Just so you know friend-lies.. don't be surprised if one day you can't 'search' me out.

A-lllll-most sick of it for good.

Almost.

Toodles and Much Love.

*smack*

Sunflower Buttercups

Duh 'things' have changed :)

Duh I've learnt so much more now

Duh I'm happy *Thank you God*

Its not like 'life' has suddenly spun a new web

From turquoise to electric blue? Nope.

My 'moves' are still the same... 

(bump bump *jump* mouth-words-of-song bump bump)

Only I dance to a different tune now

*grin*

I don't know what has 'changed'

Really

But something Has

And for that

As this blog knows only too well...

I'm grateful

*grin grin*

Tracing the more tangible?

Sure

-No more sleepovers, kind of 'over' them, at least for now

-No more trips to 'get away'.. Trips to Know More :)

-Making room in life. Making room on chairs. Making room for room-i-ness!

(noidontknowwhatthatmeans)

-Halfway through A Tale of Two Cities... YEaaaH baby!

Also, no abstract 'posts'

no ambiguity

bright sunshine and a bigger smile :D

God Bless you all

Namaskar

Divine Love

This has been, by far, the Best Day Of My Life.
Before I say Anything else... Thankyou God for making it happen.
For deeming me deserving enough to be blessed with it.

I went for a walk this morning (like I was supposed to)
I went to University later this morning (like I was supposed to)
I attended 2 classes (like I was supposed to)
I got up as MR. appeared in class for lecture number 3
I hesitated, I admit.
Then I went on ahead and left class (AS I WAS SUPPOSED TO, divinely I believe)

I had the most incredible late-morning early-afternoon Ever.
It reignited something in me.
My once-missing enthusiasm.
As I took 'notes' without real motive, soon more flew into my mind...
More possibilities of using the same data for a project I'd been working on for the last 3 months
(admittedly, sporadically)

I thank you God for the fellowship that enabled an invite
I thank you because you made me fight the hesitation
I thank you for everything
The known, seen, and others...

Every blessing has your name on it
Every challenge an opportunity to learn
I cannot unmake my past but I am grateful for todays possibilities

'Thankyou' has never felt more inadequate
Namaskar
Aadarsh chatra banane ki aasha hai
May you all feel the Divine Love
(It's hidden in every good thing that has Ever happened to you)
God Bless

1, 2, 3... GO!

Every single thing that has, is and Will happen to you is for a greater good.

There is a plan, multiple tests and yes... tons of people, actions, weaknesses to go beyond.

In the words of someone truly accurate

'No more pain is given to any man than he is unfit by nature to bear'

Replace 'pain'. Leave it blank.

No more is given than you are unfit to bear.

Keeping the Faith.

Loving the Walk.

Thankee and God Bless.

Opposition?

Yesterday we were told about the possibility of opposition.
In life, to ideals and maybe a way of life(?).

When you go on a path, any path ... there will be oppositon to test you.
To test you shraddha avastha.
Your dedication.
And it'll almost always come in the form of someone close to you.
Your family, a best friend, a boyfriend, a neighbour.
Someone whose opinion matters.

Life is too important to deviate from our own personal destination.

So to all opposition to this I quote simple words
"I don't want to put you down just because you put me down. I know what I am inside."

God Bless
The Seeker :)

Let It Goooooo Already?

This feels like the May of 2008 when I would blog once, sometimes Twice a day!

Hello. I'm back.

Yes already.

and no, still not with something 'fruitful' to say.

I put that in quotes because i felt like it.

As of Now, Now now Now. I feel like Im living 2 lives (to say the least)

NOOOO, im not Double Faced. Takes time enough to make One face presentable etc.

kajal= taking taaaaaaaime. (time)

But i feel like im always, Always ALWAYS multi tasking.

like im never really IN the moment. 

Im actually in TWO moments, SIMULTANEOUSLY.

am i loving it?

amilovingit?

aaaamIlovvvvingIT?

who knows?

I dont?

Schizophrenic much?

Green tea has me HYPER.

Avoided the BarOne temptation today,

but still didnt make it for that walk.

One sin down PER day.

Watching re-runs of Seinfeld while drinking green tea and typing this.

Voila.

Prime example of 3 different life moments.

A quiet cup of chinese tea.

A little loud blogging.

Staring mindlessly at the television screen.

ALL boiled into ONE.

Hello January of 2010.

Hello hello Hello.

Welcome to this bumbling bustling universe that is my One day.

Oh boohoo.

Sometimes, did you know, you can just dislike people because you can't be LIKE them?

Call it the Old J issue.

But actually recognizing the petty foundation can help you LET go of it.

CAN help you.... not WILL.

Do some WORK lazybums!

speaking of bum issues, men seem to be AS hassled by excess in their own as.. uhh women?

Strange the bits of information that fall into my plate everyday.

LALA

still a beautiful world and somewhere i learnt today

-is a lake frozen

-a girl determined

-someone LETTING GO 

:)

I surrender :)

KISSIE to YOU!

lalaland! :D

So the interesting thing is that my last few posts (shallwesayit? yes?) have been a little deliriously happy. Barring the oh-so-tired-due-to-lack-of-contructive-work type.
Its been fun knowing and KEEPING the faith oh-SO-SUPER-alive :D
Being in connection is a heady kick!

Make sense any?
Anyway :)
Uni has started full swing(dance play.......lalalalaaaaaalaaaaaaaaa!)
and this is sure going to be a time when i go 'wow. i was such a sweet happy kid' (later)
or maybe ill say 'wow. i wonder who regularly injected drugs into my morning apple?'
or maybe even 'pifft. what amateur divine joy experiences...lookaaaat me FLOAT now'
*grin grin*
who knows right?

arrey and apparently im still giving out a 'pink' vibe
overload of pink-ness in the room now
should i explain later?
or not ever?
hehe

lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa. you may or may not ALL skip this.
or not at all.
whatever.

Im happy world.
Thought you should know.

Thank you for the bouquets and the brickbats :)
Thankee for the kicks and the kissies :):)
Thaaaankkkyou for the love.

pssssssst, how'd you sleep last night?
(just answer the question!) :)

HAPPINESS :)