Brain-Gloop-y-Mush

My mind is so divided that im just gonna pour out everything in the mess that it is.

-i don't like the 'i-told-you-so' attitude, i really don't. Yes, mistakes are made. Fine. But when xyz starts to invade personal decision making space (even if its unconscious), then trouble in paradise for xyz and person involved. Period.

-was exposed to yet another instance of random-connection with M-tree. She was my college senior and dram bud! This last year we made that transition to friends in the most inexplicable way. I really value it.

-ive been exposed to SO many 'cultivated-extroverts' that im nearly fill to the brim with them...polite conversation and pleasant chit chat is appreciated in parties not when i have work to do! *im pretty grumpy eh?* Seriously though....why indulge in nonsensical chatter when i know you dont really care? Besides, why should you? Lets just be who we are...acquaintances. It makes me very uncomfortable to know that people can be warm at will... their motives become suspect and so does their assumed friendship. i know some people are comfortable with controlled niceness (normally, who isnt?) but for me... its getting real hard to swallow and extremely easy to identify.

-had the weirdest illuminating talk with Pg, my literary friend in crime, we talked of highs and lows and everything in between. For someone who has taken plenty of romantic risks she oddly ended up warning me. People, as a declaration to the whole wide universe, i can like people in the 'small crush way' but i will not..i repeat...will not date them until im sure! *uff*...

-i finally got that not only is it okay to 'f*** up' but also that some risks are worth taking if you truly wanna be sure of anything in life. Being what i am, apparently a mixed personality type who sways from traditionalist to uhh the seeker-of-whats-new(?)... im gonna have a lot more grey areas in terms of boundaries and am gonna have to live with the decision I take each time.

-dont like goo-oeeeyy romance.

-itunes deleted my entire playlist. yes, again. But on the bright side, i have something to do with my 5 seconds of spare time... (semi-alive issssshmile)

-have (thanks to S) started noticing just HOW many people say anywayS! damn! a hell lotta people do! In fact, ive become so averse to it that im contemplating murdering the mischief makers! (zwinky and s you have been warned! Grr)

-my article came in yday's paper and i didnt even know it! It felt good to be told it was 'great'... Thank you to the person who said that. :)

Basically this is my life....3rd year has begun and the works started piling up. Post-Colonialism, Post-modernism, Post-structuralism and i are gonna be best friends real soon. Am determined to wallow in the joy of classroom discussions and will NOT miss classes. Even if its for dramatics. Period.

*determined*

:D

with this year i have traversed on paths of which, once, i had only dreamed.