Pause

I will never really know how people can post once in a trillion days, it always seems to me that i have this whole bunch of thoughts gushing out that i wanna pen down immediately in this 'perfect' format and the 'best' possible way. Contemplative moments, whacky dreams, weird ideas all coagulate into this teensy post (which i always try and keep short, stop laughing please). Have always been verbose to the point of absurdity but thats just the way i think. In circles, triangles, squares and other shapes that i have no clue bout.
Today i was all scrunched up in the car watching the world crawl past me (delhi traffic. ahem) and it reminded me of the streetplay we performed all of last year. 'Iss Raste Par'. It dealt with traffic and civic sense (more like lack of it) and one line of our song nudged its way in... 'Iss raste par khada hai dekho kahin bhikari kahin ambani iss rate par' *daphli beat* (Translation- on this road we see beggars and the likes of Ambani ie. wealthy people. Duh!)
It was so strange to block our prejudices and just LOOK at people...i crossed a bus stand and the different CLASS of people was obvious to all but the blind. A worker was sitting in the crow asana (i know wee bitta yogic-ish terms) ...a college going girl self-consciously toyed with her hair...a man standing with his (assumed) wife grabbed his own c*****...(ahem)... an old auntie stared disapprovingly at a couple who indulged in light (mutual) attraction-ish behaviour (complete with giggles. lol) And all i could think of was...here i am...sitting in the car which dads post enables access to... changing radio channels and lounging around in relative luxury.... what did i do to actually deserve this? And more importantly, what did they do not to?
A person i was talking to yday tells me that religion is just a way to get people to act 'good' with the threat of punishment guiding them (he was more incoherent).... I think that might be true and its also true that most intellectual philosophies DONT believe in karma but when you LOOK at the world around you...what else can you possibly believe in? Its either this or that someones playing a game of die with our fortune. Frankly id feel a lot more secure knowing my fate is wrapped in the logical process of karmic acts and free will to improve it. Gives you security and the chance to help yourself (and others).

On a completely different note...true love exists. Even after marriage. Even after you gain weight and resemble a papa rhino. Even after you let the irritating habits leak out. Even after you know each irrelevant detail of each others day. True love exists. Inspite of the mundaneness of it all. It survives. Right on the streets of Delhi, in a house not too far from mine. No need to offer residential proof and government official attested copies. Enough to say i know, and i have seen it. With my own dark brown eyes and felt it, in the same humid Delhi weather. Its alive and kicking... Just waiting for us to believe in it. For some people say, what you want to see becomes your truth.... your reality. Now i know its there, impossibly normal and miraculously within reach. Life is strange.