As always, in spite of my being an amateur pscychoanalyst, i am not quite sure if many people feel the way i do when it comes to blogging... if i really feel like i've written something exceptional or something i just happen to be a little too fond of, i hate posting more right after that.... something like that post deserves a little extra time in the sun...ironic, because i'm quite annoying about not handing out my url to friends when they begin the pestering...
the few who have found me, well thats been more because of luck (as well as my insane stupidity and ignorance)...
there are a dozen things i could (possibly will) talk about.
For starters, 31st is inching closer each day.
What does that imply?
-Time for my One-year-break-from-chocolate-to-test-will-power to FINALLY come to an end.
(clap now, HARD)
-Just 9 more days left for exams then, panic mode shall be firmly in place. (insert scared face)
-I will get some wild-dancing time with a few friends and of course, the chick-flicks will have been selected days in advance. Bless vodafone, but not too much.
-I will find a more insane way of torturing myself for another 365 days by going on some weird i-will-not-eat/do-this kick. so typical... predictable... lame. But i know i'll do it.
-I'll have 5 months left before i turn 21. *gulp*
-I will find the love of my life and turn into a mushroom at 1 am.
(okay, i may have made that up)
It'll be another year... 2009 this time. (Didnt 2008 have a better ring to it?)
and i guess it would imply .... a pause.
Yes, thats the word. a pause that will specifically say... hey you there, stop for a minute (at least slow down) and maybe... reflect.
Think of all that you've done in 12 months... think of what you would have liked to do...
ask yourself why you didnt go ahead with that... maybe even demand if it was worth it not to go after it with your heart and soul...
Think of the people who have been a part of your life... maybe even thank someone up there for some of the blessings you've been showered with (umm, for the people who remain existentialists or atheists or spiritually uninterested... you can choose to gnaw your nails at this point)....
Think of all that you could have done... the good, the healthy, the fun, the constructive and otherwise (only wanted to include positives, but feel free to mention the harmful, painful, boring...whatever works for you)
Besides, im getting tired of people saying that truth is relative...that good doesnt exist.
Sick of the nonsensical philosophical debate that EVERY intellectual wants to draw me into, just to prove a cynical point.
Well, sucks to you....for i take my resolution right now (kaal kare to aaj kar proverb like)...
I, in the year 2009, do solemnly swear to continue to Believe in Goodness regardless of the repeated attempts of people/things/incidents to convince me otherwise. I refuse to be ashamed of the fact that something like faith is perceived as old-fashioned and refuse to conform to all those who bleat rebellious notions for the sake of rebellion. I refuse to let go of who i am, innately and promise to not lower my standards (in all possible ways). I know that pessimism and cynicism will take over on cloudy days but i promise and resolve that regardless of how hard it is, i will not let that hopeful child die inside of me... the kid who does not believe in Santa but remains convinced that it-will-all-be-okay-in-the-end... that someone IS watching out to ensure
the few who have found me, well thats been more because of luck (as well as my insane stupidity and ignorance)...
there are a dozen things i could (possibly will) talk about.
For starters, 31st is inching closer each day.
What does that imply?
-Time for my One-year-break-from-chocolate-to-test-will-power to FINALLY come to an end.
(clap now, HARD)
-Just 9 more days left for exams then, panic mode shall be firmly in place. (insert scared face)
-I will get some wild-dancing time with a few friends and of course, the chick-flicks will have been selected days in advance. Bless vodafone, but not too much.
-I will find a more insane way of torturing myself for another 365 days by going on some weird i-will-not-eat/do-this kick. so typical... predictable... lame. But i know i'll do it.
-I'll have 5 months left before i turn 21. *gulp*
-I will find the love of my life and turn into a mushroom at 1 am.
(okay, i may have made that up)
It'll be another year... 2009 this time. (Didnt 2008 have a better ring to it?)
and i guess it would imply .... a pause.
Yes, thats the word. a pause that will specifically say... hey you there, stop for a minute (at least slow down) and maybe... reflect.
Think of all that you've done in 12 months... think of what you would have liked to do...
ask yourself why you didnt go ahead with that... maybe even demand if it was worth it not to go after it with your heart and soul...
Think of the people who have been a part of your life... maybe even thank someone up there for some of the blessings you've been showered with (umm, for the people who remain existentialists or atheists or spiritually uninterested... you can choose to gnaw your nails at this point)....
Think of all that you could have done... the good, the healthy, the fun, the constructive and otherwise (only wanted to include positives, but feel free to mention the harmful, painful, boring...whatever works for you)
Besides, im getting tired of people saying that truth is relative...that good doesnt exist.
Sick of the nonsensical philosophical debate that EVERY intellectual wants to draw me into, just to prove a cynical point.
Well, sucks to you....for i take my resolution right now (kaal kare to aaj kar proverb like)...
I, in the year 2009, do solemnly swear to continue to Believe in Goodness regardless of the repeated attempts of people/things/incidents to convince me otherwise. I refuse to be ashamed of the fact that something like faith is perceived as old-fashioned and refuse to conform to all those who bleat rebellious notions for the sake of rebellion. I refuse to let go of who i am, innately and promise to not lower my standards (in all possible ways). I know that pessimism and cynicism will take over on cloudy days but i promise and resolve that regardless of how hard it is, i will not let that hopeful child die inside of me... the kid who does not believe in Santa but remains convinced that it-will-all-be-okay-in-the-end... that someone IS watching out to ensure
the same... the kid who feels blessed... and very grateful.
Now writing that felt good. :)
Now writing that felt good. :)
Thank you for reading.
(but not if you skipped bits!) :P
3 comments:
First of all, don't you think lime green is a very underrated colour? I LURVE the colour, it deserves some respect and admiration.
Secondly. Woman, I don't know if I read your blog carefully after too long or what, but for some reason it came of as very flowy and I read the entry 3 times because I loved it. I loved how you decided to put your words together.
You Are (stresses) very very very good :D
Thirdly. Believe. You must- Mostly why me and Sh stay grounded in because we know you're around and you believe, believe it or not :)
Sigh, that's a looong one. I felt like letting it all out. I always want to comment on your blogs but I never get around to doing it because I'm always so darn lazy.
Love love love :)
ZOMG
i believe lime green IS underrated...:)
sigh.. im getting lazy too
deluded- thank you for being such a loyal reader.. much appreciated :)
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