sweet-tooth

Just two more assignments to go. JUST TWO. And and and and, one of which is voluntary.. Relief-time. Now! :D

Now if that wasn't reason enough to celebrate... i actually have a list of reasons for huge-smile-plus-natural-joy-in-abundance

-a- S's surprise birthday party went off AS smoothly as possible considering the umm disconnected bits of people we invited. I mean, mixed crowd. But she loved it, so its the intent and result which matter...not the road blocks. This metaphor is SO over-done-cooked-gnawed upon!

-b- I realized there werent enough reasons to feel crummy about. The thing is, moping about with a long face is okay for a bit... but ultimately we owe ourselves enough to cheer up. Seriously, if ever there's a time to advocate selfishness its when it comes to grabbing happiness. Scrub away all the muck thats littering up the room (metaphorically, kinda- my room is a lil bit of a disaster) and feel clean. positive. uplifted? Yes. Happy.

-c- There's a party coming up... in the past, ive always ended up shying away from the more obvious forms of celebrations.. (like parties) but this time, its not your usual deck-up-look-steaming-hot-to-click-pictures kind. its more laidback and happy-zone . Like minded people and loads of chips. Plus theme (which is WHAT btw?...)..

-d- before i forget.... i finally finally finally found an alternative to the chocolate-sin that i've been craving. Jam doughnut-thingy-sugar-explosion! Jam doughnut OKAY!
sounds simple?...haha. you poor ignorant soul yooh!....imagine a doughnut bun with white sugar sprinkled lightly over it in just the 'right' too-sweet quantity... mashed between the two sugared buns oozes pink jam thats just soft enough to melt in your mouth.. plus, its not one of those weird peanut sized barely-there desserts...its whole and fills you up.... makes the 11 month no-chocolate period seem like no big deal. Okay. i found what i'll be going back to next week too! :)
sigh.... someone once said maths and music are connected. I say poetry and food are. *yum*

Just re-living that jammy-doughnut experience has made me happy enough to prance around....*sighhhhhhhs*.......i think its time i go and enjoy the beautiful world that awaits me. see, LYRICAL. Thankyoohh yum food and incredibly talented chefs who make it. :)
You-Will-Be-Blessed...if you aren't already!

ps- my new official 'status' as per thoughts....i'm lending an ear for the very last time...

*peace*

nothing rhymes with Kanpur.

I think every perfect room needs a perfect chair to park your bum and perfect book(s) to flip through. i will no longer put perfect in quotes insinuating that perfection isnt possible or relative. One thing i do know... though being glum and melancholic with violent shades of grey is currently in vogue... it doesnt make one happy. and WHY bother being anything else but?

The Trip
(was a disaster...comes to the tongue instantly) at least the beginning was a humongous mess. Bihar had an outbreak of riots and trains paid the penalty with almost all of them being cancelled. thats not all. suddenly in a fit of overprotectiveness my parents chose to exercise what they rarely do. the power to say no. i was point blank forbidden to go in a bus to kanpur. (plan B)
well.. skipping past the gloomy drama of plodding home alone and sinking into bed.. i got a call in the evening telling me the team had, in fact, not left. Yippee? i dont think so. we tried working out late evening tickets. Fast forward 5-7 hours. We (now just 12 out of a team of 18) sit trembling at the station waiting for our train at 11.40 PM. whew. on General Class Tickets.

Now, in case you dont know what that implies. lemme clarify. no reservations+scary men who eyed us and our luggage with the same greed+no adults(unless you count the 12 of us who are above 18 and who conveniently forgot to mention to our parents that the tickets we finally managed were in general class. mature)..to sum it up. Nightmare. ah. i could go on and on about how terrible it was to perform a play designed for 15 people with a mere 7. How disheartened we were when the team (initially) didnt crack the prelims (later we did...technical glitch)...how it sucked to be there and feel terrible that the others hadnt come. how ecstatic we were when four of them landed up the next day (post HUGE drama with own parents).... how i didnt think it important to capture ANYTHING on camera till the last morning at the railway station. how i met this really old friend whom i didnt expect to click so well with (our similarities can lead to a weirdly-similar club).. how i was determined to not talk and ended up singing SO loudly that ive temporarily lost my voice (really)... how nice it was to be with vrinda again and hug her ALL the time... (morning wake-up call was a slobbery mess on the cheek)... how her non-bf/really-bf made an attempt to clear the air (which worked but added more tinge-y colours to it...ie. more confusion)...how i finally spoke my mind to sn and just TALKED about how bloody nonsensical talking was. how simply too much happened to just take in. how watching kung fu panda at 3 am on the terrace on the laptop of a friend can be AMAZING because of how much mad SENSE it makes!!!!!!!...... how going on a scooty at 5.30 in the morning is exhilarating... how such moments lifted the gloom off others... how i didnt get what i wanted or expected but how it wasnt too disappointing.

i kept thinking...after this i will 'come back to life'. but i never left it. it was just me in better clothes with sneakers strapped on nearly 24/7. barely ate anything but walked more than was necessary...i kept chasing that elusive dream-like feeling of being in first year when we had first gone to kanpur. to feel the tendrils of hope inching their way up. but of course thats quite impossible. you cant recreate stuff. cuz lets face it, im different. in third year now with choices that i cant delay further. Escapism would be the silliest choice made till date (including opting for commerce in 11th 12th!!!!!).....

i dont feel bummed out. just like all my bones have been manually taken apart and then clumsily attached to form what could be a girl. have slept for 3 hours in the last 2 days and im still not collapsing. nope. but thats just a fact. im glad i went. im glad things happened the way they did. because 'in life there are no accidents' says someone wise in Kung Fu Panda. and i agree.
you simply GOTTA watch it if you have eyes and an open mind. (a narrow one is annoying...who will enjoy it nonetheless)
Anyway, thank you. Dont know why i said that.. its most certainly not directed at anyone reading my blog (no offense). Now back to the drill...celtic renaissance assignment. :)
Ciao.

ps- Wurrrrf. Growl and... Yum. (description of eye candy...festival be well stocked...:P...)