Pathetic. Sorrowful. Disillusioned. Thats how i felt after reading 2 articles in the Sunday Edition of Hindustan Times. They had vast amounts of data on how hard Indians tried to link themselves to any famous personality abroad who was recognized by the much exaulted West.
Sheesh. Isn’t it bad enough that, in some remote part of my being, I am aware of this innate hypocrisy? Why aren’t I allowed to bury my head in the sand? Why should I be exposed to the truth when I try so desperately to dig up some miniscule speck of patriotism? One of the many side effects of being brought up in an upper middle class rational and educated family is it strips away the gloss of fanatic emotions from your eyes. I have always been very aware that the Independence Day march is a big charade, Cricket fever is to be avoided at all costs and that most Indians will cheat you if you let them.
Now, at 19, I try desperately to fit in with my idealistic friends who brim with enthusiasm and sprout idealism from their very pores. They believe they can make a difference and I let myself be convinced. Happy in this almost delusional state, my parents did nothing to stop me. I’m sure they looked on indulgently and waited for me to discover the inevitable truth for myself-Being patriotic may be more fun but it’s a lie and one I willingly wanted to be brainwashed into believing.
Now some random article has invaded my mind and unsettled those thoughts that I was keeping buried. Tagore was never recognized till the West handed him the Nobel Prize claimed my teacher in college. This was possibly the beginning of my journey towards enlightenment. Though I hate to be cynical, the truth remains that Indians are a bunch of lovable liars. We accept the merits of Yoga and Spirituality only after the likes of Madonna have advertised them. Sometimes this unpleasant task must be undertaken. So I stand before you ashamed of myself for wanting to believe in the fairytale.
i don't want to believe in India's weakness and i most certainly don't want other people throwing them in my face.
I realize I want to believe in the parade. I want to cheer for the Indian Team. I want to think of people as warm loving creatures who are ‘good’. I want to know that I have some power and that I can save the world if i try really hard.
I want to be a better person and i would love to know that i have the Free-Will to become one. That my changing for the better would somehow help India prove to the world that we don't need the likes of Bobby Jindal, we have our own Idols.
:):)
