Let it be noted

I just re-read my last post which I find really hilarious. Because it’s this thought provoking musing-esque (notaword) commentary on my own state of mind at the time. I blame hormones and many many many wakeful nights. 

But since I love to mark the passage of time here - here is another for the record books- middle of the night- closer to dawn than dusk- a 2 minute clip about the flailing translator and I cannot stop myself from shaking the bed as I snort out helpless giggles. Cannot stop laughing.

Amidst a lot a lot a lot a lot… a lot. I want to remember giggling uncontrollably. I want to remember the mirth. I want to remember the happiness. I want the strength of the lighthearted and the sunshine.

A mark in time

The Ups and trying to walk up

The peaks and the striding up from the valley

The day and the sometimes impatient waiting for sunrise

Dreams. 

A relic of what was once desired. A hint of future aspirations. And sometimes, the opening as you tumble down that rabbit hole hoping you’ll emerge before sunrise. Fingers grasping the muddy sides, hoping to slow the pace and cushion the blow. 

I see the supposed grown ups around- busy beings living independent lives and more so than before people just appear to be playing dress up. Making important decisions whimsically. But again, i dont know them well or at all. The superficiality yet the regularity of these interactions is like a thorn on my side. How can i meet you so often and yet there is nothing of substance here? No depth of conversation besides literal parallel play.  

Time has debunked a lot of myths i believed as recently as 2 years ago. I am not sure i know this version of me. At all. Because I’m choosing very differently. Not always better but a solid majority. I’m still swaying  though- between the easy and the right. Between the illusion and the real.

So perfection is a way away- but the direction im currently facing is correct and so i stride on. Pausing for a short breath to mark this time. Let me chisel my mark on that tall lumbering ancient tree, its trunk extending up to the heavens, far beyond what these eyes can see. marvel at the today. yet aware- look at all the potential for growth. 

Whoever is reading, thanks. And do pop up with a comment if possible. Feel like saying Hi to friends old!