Tis the season... to be Wedded :)

too many weddings, engagements and proposals floating around delhi!
actually, that's exactly in reverse order!
Proposals, Rokas and Shaadis :)
wait wait wait
Proposals, Pre Bridal shoots, dancing dancing dancing, choreographed dancing, Rokas, and Shaadis :)

just ask A, this is Literally her area of expertise! (choreographer extraordinaire)
so as i Attend some weddings and definitely experiment with my newly developing skill of eye makeup..
i begin to wonder about the pressure the Bride is feeling!
i mean here i am, a guest, dabbing and sliding that glittery eye shadow base... basically clowning around with the eyeliner, nonchalantly using earbuds dipped in make up remover to give myself that winged look... basically having a gala time, wondering what else i can dab on without it looking over the top...  rushing around in the rain, contemplating wearing flats (the horror the horror!), not Really worried because well, it isn't "my" day... but there is this other person getting ready somewhere in delhi..
groaning because the clouds have burst and she's worried about her hair.. her make up, her clothes, her own secret butterflies doing the tango in her tummy, smiling!, not smiling too much!, relatives, and somehow looking her "best"!
Oh God.. she has this one day (ok, Many days) to look her absolute "best".
what is this best?
how are we supposed to magically look our best one day?
and what Is best?
what mum thinks? friends think? the fashionable relatives think? the conservative relatives think? the husband thinks? who? who decides?
the bride? really... not too sure about that.
because every single person has a different opinion about "best".
some like it understated, some like it blingy, some like both! and most don't know what they like.. they know what they Dislike. (category-me!) Or know what they like in their Mind and don't know any way of getting to it ! (Also category me!)

Oh God. i can only sigh and breathe heavily.. because as a guest i doll up in 15-25 mins including strapping on 5 inch heels (as if the flats stood a chance! :))
but this one occasion that im so cavalier about..is someone elses special day.
newfound respect for special days :)

Happy Wedding season everyone... enjoy the Jalebis... Yum!

"Girls"

So I started writing a post (another post) about cars and delhi and safety and it became sort of a :(
buzz-kill sad bad world type post.
so i dropped it.
because the world needs more rainbow noticing and less negative focusing (uh. tried to rhyme that last sentence)

Anyway.
this is more mature 26 (nearly 27) years old me. the one who Knows there is more to life than rainbows... However, the idea is to enjoy focusing on them whilst being Aware of other aspects and practicing becoming a better person vis-a-vis new circumstances and experiences.

A little bit in thankfulness to S who made me not-delete this blog when i had the urge many years ago,
if you're reading.. Thank You!!

Anyway, I think i enjoy this blog Way more than anyone reading it.
It's fun to see what bits i chose to let slip out and the bits i sneakily chose to not refer to.
snigger snigger.

AnyHOO... I used to not like the show "Girls" a few years(?) ago.. I don't know when I discovered it... probably around the time i started streaming videos from the net..Umm.. cant say.
but definitely when the first season had just begun.
and i could Not connect to the protagonist and her life choices.
from what i remember of the first season... it involved a Lot of uh.. (how to put it politely?) ..
intimacy(?) with a guy who didnt treat her very well.. and she was plump and naked on screen Quite a Lot. and i just wasnt ready to see someone not TV beautiful (yes, that is a real category of women... it's the Normal person on the street person) On TV and very very naked.. most of the time!

it was like Game of Thrones without the perfect toned figures.
at least that's what i remember. i didnt re-watch it. i was very very umm disturbed?

but then M told me about it recently and i was all "nooooo you like that?"
and then i just started from season 2. dumped season 1 and its disturbing memories and skipped on ahead. Spoilers ahead!
now Hannah (protagonist) was in a committed sort of relationship. oh wait. they were broken up and then back together. and she Did again behave in a Not-me way.. calling the cops on him. lots of stuff.
but she was trying to get her stuff together.
and she still seemed a little umm unusual in her behaviour but she made more sense because i stopped expecting her to behave as i would.
which was a relief... because although we both like writing (yes, me! and fictitious character).. i dont know what im saying.

basically show is not that bad now.
or maybe i have too much time.
and i should reaaaaally focus on my PhD.
and finish like ONE CHAPTER!!!!

fyi.. Game of Thrones got too violent for me post the Mountain episode.. actually PRE it.
sort of wiki-ed the story and got bummed out.. aint no rainbows in That sitcom because
Wintaaaaaaar is a ALWAYS COMING!
okay i know its spelled "Winter" but Wintaaaaaaar just had a better accent to it.

going to go to bed now.
SEEEEEE YA
this was just a little bit of a ramble.. Hello future me!

#

Maybe this is better suited for a tweet... but i'm not Entireeeely sure everyone knows what the hashtag is all about!

#everythingiwishtosayorwriteaboutphotoiwillsayherebecauseitlookscuter

but... do we all remember >#< is just a good way of connecting to a conversation that is happening worldwide (presumably) about the Same issue...?

#modispeech
#mangalyaan

makes sense to find out what the prevailing happy opinion is... #sisterlovefun #drinking... just gives everybody else in the world Access to your fun and drinking and uh.. you!

#wishicouldsaythisonfacebook :)
yes, I get the irony :)

ANGRY

I am SO ANGRY.

wow. those are words i haven't typed here often.
but i am so ANGRY that these words MUST be typed out.

I AM ANGRY AT THE MORONS, sorry, the IGNORANCE displaying ones who are STILL BARBARIC PRIMITIVE MINDED CAVE MEN AND WOMEN.

in fact i dont know much about the humanity of cave men so i may even be insulting them!

so let's talk about it without shouting (yeah, Right)

CASE- deepica padukone (yes, the gorgeous actress) had some sleazy photographer capture her cleavage from a vantage point. ie. someone took a snap of her chest from above and made a video out of it.

next, TOI covers it lecherously excited about cleavage display

DP gets agitated and tweets

TOI's rebuttal is oh you skanky kingfisher calendar girl, you haven't got any right to demand respect.. look consenting chest display in other photos

DELUGE of ARTICLES ... some opposing TOI, the SANE ONES... and then there were others.

i am saddened that educated academics can be part of the industry of misogyny. can promote and condone such articles quoting "diversity of opinion". the dont feel the pain of a 1000 sisters labelled "slut", "enticing rape" "asking for it"..

i am ASHAMED to know such perverted shameful disgusting pieces of stinking brains exist on my facebook list

I AM ANGRY

i am tired of commenting and re-commenting and arguing and posting and trying to knock some SENSE into people.

it is about CONSENT
you CANNOT take anyone for granted because YOU feel their moral compass is flawed... you CANNOT say it is ok to objectify her because she is a sexy woman who flaunts her chest WHEN IT PLEASES HER.

hello!!! WHEN IT PLEASES HER.
not when it PLEASES YOU to climb up a ladder and gawk down and zoom in and circle her mammary glands! and add a pointer!!!

so you will not objectify someone who is dressed in a sari and has a nip slip, is it?
you'll say 'no no' she's a virgin clad from head to toe... must not objectify HER.

i could smack you all up.
esp those who insist... you know what... im going to pull a RSS on you... ban ALL misogynists and ALL SHARING their damn posts.

*keeps simmering*

women, PLEASE take a stand
men, PLEASE take a stand

HUMAN KIND. please Say NO to OBJECTIFICATION. regardless of who is objectified.

here book-y book-y...

So no one has asked/challenged/requested me to either donate to a cause.. throw water on myself.. or list out 10 books that have affected me :(

*ref to videos going viral on facebook*

HOWEVER, i really felt like writing the names of those 10 books Anyway! without any real thought... here goes

pride and prejudice- for the romantic aspect, and the pig headed!
naughtiest girl series- for those moments of vicarious pleasure and yelling at the book "Don't let the chickens out!!... you'll get in trouble..."
wodehouse- just for the dry humour
lady knight series- for her courage
paulo coelho- the alchemist- for the dreamer
brian weiss- only love is real, many lives many masters- for the hope
tagore's geetanjali- for the love
the faraway tree- for the dreams of children
blyton's malory towers- as the seed for boarding school life... and strangely the camaraderie i just realized was fulfilled by theatre soc much later in life
karmic ties- just because it was hard to be unaffected by such a dramatic tale of rising and falling... and the roller coaster of material wealth, connection, love, duty... a true saga!

so There... desire to express fulfilled!
Tadaaa!

Khoob ladi Mardani...

This is going to be interesting... at least for me.. hehe... *cough*.. I mean.. hopefully for you readers too..

since I'm going to talk about "Mardaani", the movie... without having actually watched it.
and with the small flicker of desire still somewhat existing to actually watch it...
which is rare in these days of Salman khan whattheycallmoviesbutareactuallyonlyactionscenes.
what-they-call-movies-but-are-actually-only-action-scenes (separated for your convenience!)

so with my interest slowing climbing i started browsing through some reviews online... but they're all weighed down with SPOILERS!.. which is a no-go when im actually Intending to watch it!

so i started thinking about how we may have forgotten the difference between reviewing art and just sharing the entire plot summary and commenting with a mild thumbs up or down...
not all, but many reviews are just out to share the story... boring!

but that was just a random thought that i stretched to 3 paras by providing you the context! TADAAA... *blogpostcreated!*

*magic*      *magic*     *magic*

anyway... have to run but well... that's all for now folks. toodles...
yep, i know... this post doesn't count! haha... :D

all about us :)

In my 25 (almost 26) years on Earth... I've understood (experienced) it is so so very easy to experience anger, hurt, betrayal, jealousy, the desire to lash out.... and most recently... devolve into growling (when words simply don't suffice)

but I've also learned that if such growl-worthy situations were Not coming into my life... I would not know HOW much gussa (anger) was hidden inside ! how much potential to erupt I carry.... but also.. how much patience, trust, surrender exists inside.

There are a lot of things we wish for
a lot of people we look up to...(for me, it's the people who are sorted inside. and by extension... outside.... but the ones who appear sorted outside aren't always sorted inside. so it doesn't work vice verse... but it works the inside-to-outside way just fine... i think)
There are a lot of aspirations we have for ourselves
-materially (what surrounds me)
-physically (what I want to look like)
-emotionally (how I want to feel)
-spiritually (the direction in which I'm heading)

but at this stage, nearly 26 and whatever emotional state I'm in, I want to grow past the "aspiration" phase to the "living the aspiration" time.
I wish I could be a more sorted person inside... and then carry this wonderful peace from inside-to-outside acts/words/expressions/perceptions.... going from obvious to subtle... to carry it everywhere.
like a perfume that you spray before leaving the car (en route fancy party ;))
a constant never-ending-ever-emanating fragrance of peace that you don't mind sharing... you love feeling... and most importantly, is a Part of me. so it may be constantly flowing inside each cell... but its spray is triggered at will... and when is it most needed?
when I know I'm walking into a metaphorical battle
when there will be lions out prowling for my (extremely) metaphorical blood
when this Peace is my armour ... as well as the weapon I yield.

This battlefield could be at work, the market, the bus, the kitchen, or anywhere... (everywhere!)
let's don this armour and walk free and abhay (a term meaning literally without fear,not just fear-Less :))
finally free of making mistakes that we wish we hadn't ... free of wishing we'd bitten our tongue when unkind words were going to flow... free of causing/feeling hurt... free and abhay

wishing all of us an armour of peace and a Happy Birth Day... so that a new us may be born and revel today!

Articles-Blogs-Reviews-WRITTEN MATERIAL

Maybe it's just me and the (warped)super slow speed of the internet at home...
but I genuinely PREFER reading an article online to watching a video about it..
you? (asks all "followers")

It's tiresome (yes, I said *cough* wrote "tiresome") to have to Wait for the video to sloooooowly load... much easier and more ... umm... isn't reading more like participating in the act of creation?
feeling words converted to thought-images and creating more space for deeper emotions?
rather than hypnotically watching images flash in front of us... simple. unthinking. absorption.

I didn't think I would write all that. I thought I would stop at "you?"
oh well ... :)

how can a post be complete without a smiley?
like a day without a smile?
like rain without the fragrance emanating from the mud?
like a week without Saturday?

time to rest with the stars... Goodnight all! Love

Somebody that I used to know... :)

Perceptions can be Such a barrier between .. well... living happily in company (to be honest).
I happened to see someone that well, I used to know.. she and I had a complicated childish relationship when we were (naturally) children :)
*sheepish admission coming up* I may, okay DID, cyber-stalk her a little ;)
and then to see her out of nowhere.. we had that choice IN THAT INSTANT to either pretend we hadn't seen each other or?...
and you know the amazing thing that happened?
I couldn't HELP it.. I turned around and a smile lit up my face.. I waved and the words flowed out of my mouth so naturally with that smile.. "Hii!!" and a wave... she smiled back too (almost laughing) and between the most natural of smiles she asked "How've you been?" (through the glass door) The smile hadn't left my face.. I mouthed I'm well and we both departed (quite aesthetically) in different directions with, I suspect, smiles on both our faces.

I don't know what happened but... I'm so grateful for that light hearted smile that just welled up from within.. and strangely, now I feel only love for her.
with no desire to either "bond" or make anything of it... just... love.
She looked so radiant and happy... and, though I'm a stranger, I feel love and happiness for her.
and why I wanted to document this was because this feels like a beautiful gift... the love, the lightheartedness, the forgiving of our childish past... it just leaves the love behind.
Thank God that smile came, or we would have done that awkward dance of pretending someone is invisible... because, I'm Now understanding Some of the implications of this small incident..
there was a Reason she was leaving as I walked in ... there was a Reason she was Visible and Not invisible in that day... that Choice, that opportunity to release (unknowingly) was Given... and I'm not even sure I TOOK it, as much as it was taken for me because SOMETHING filled my heart with love.. and I cannot explain what it was...
these tiny miracles go unnoticed many times... but while I write about it... I not only re-experience and reinforce it..I notice more aspects of this ... well.. amazing experience.
Thanking the Universe and ALL those who helped, and also Whatever it is that is helping me Realize it!
love love love

my conservative moment

People write about Cricket.. movies.. and dogs?

Well i write about those too.. cricket (eh.ho hum) movies (not updated self sufficiently) dogs (love!)
but what i wanted to Talk about was religion.. in fact, Wendy Doniger's book on Hindus.

umm, normally i dont involve my mind in such debates.. i find myself generally Pro freedom of expression. even now, not excited about the book being "pulped" i.e.. taken off shelves.
HOWEVER, i do Not feel like being Pro This book.

ive seen the cover.. Divinity perched on naked women? are you serious?
since when is that something to celebrate?
nothing wrong with nudity.. or women (of course not!.. we're awesome :) )
but what the??? why?
i would be As offended if it was nude men.. i mean, i dont see the point.

ive read the few articles describing the content.. im not impressed.. and i have the Right to be unimpressed.
and i have the Right to not read this book.
and i have the Right to blog about it (or not).
i ALSO, as us academics frequently forget, have the RIGHT to be a little conservative and Not protest the ban.

yes, banning recalling a book is a bad idea..
don't stifle our voice. etc.
yes yes and yes.
but seriously... it seems to be in poor taste.. and while im not going to fight For a ban recall, i wont oppose it either.
im not even abstaining because im here.. on this forum.. SAYING.. i have the right to be conservative and Not appreciate this representation.
this is My stand.
for whatever it is worth.

*since posting the original post, have come to understand that it was not a ban but a "recall", so the book can still be published by someone else.. and this whole hullabaloo (yes, i said hullabaloo) will probably only help its sales.. so we all win. recallers. writers and bloggers.yay!*

Dilli o Dilli

I may have "published" some spam comments.. so be wary whilst clicking y'all!

So.. today I saw a man grooving-shaking-bouncing to the beat while driving.
in all of 3 seconds I finally understood what I must look like when I'M driving.

there are some subtle (or *cough* not) ways that "delhi" has creeped inside the fabric of my personality over the last (God!) umm 17 years!
one of the more obvious ones is the love for "oh ho ho ho..." songs 
and when they Do come floating around on the radio... you can bet your last matchbox(!) I'm going to be dancing... standing, sitting, or driving... it-will-happen!

and why your last matchbox? because light is important yo! :)

and remember... judge not lest ye be judged :)

(*she says, getting up to dance*... bolo tara ra ra) ;)