point of life, home, the sea and the fish

it was really nice of a reader to offer a suggestion for a post.. (Thankee).. but it was sort of Huge.
the point of life?
oh my!

so if i think about life in 4 parts.. sort of as the traditional way goes

childhood


youth/studying


the domestic life


and the Spiritual :) ie. letting go of attachments

somehow i think the 4 actually go together.. there is always the active joyful child in us.. regardless of our years.. and in fact, as a wee baby we always want to be "old enough".. and as we shoot up in height and uh weight.. we want to retain the happiness that comes from the little things..
of course I've been studying uh till.. well, now.. and onwards.. and one doesn't stop learning, right?
the domestic is also a huge part of life as i see it.. regardless of who inhabits that domesticity.. parents, grandparents, in-laws, friends.. you name it.. there is normally someone there.. even if it is paid-part-time-help.. as with their presence comes interaction.

so all three require immense interaction with people, situations and frankly, our own limitations.
and this is where, throughout our life, Spirituality enters. my own weaknesses put me in touch with what hurts me.. or rather :).. what hurts me makes me realize where my weakness is.. and the desire to free myself from self inflicted hurt.. the desire to be free of conditional love for self and others.. the desire to protect myself from feeling undesirable.. the purely seemingly selfish desire to never let myself be hurt again.. THAT puts me in touch with the connection that Can source Unconditional love... and that Has worked for the enlightened ones.. that Is working for the enlightened ones.. and whether we connect to Their journey through satsang, books, youtube videos, the sacred texts, the vedas.. any religion.. it doesn't matter. what matters is finding that tool to help me feel peace as im a child, as i play the role of a student/wife/daughter/person/girl/whatever.. as i play all my roles at all ages.. and somehow, and this is the Miraculous part, from a place of "meme peace"... it becomes easier to share it and wish it for others.
sure, there are mistakes made along the way.. but they're bigger learnings right?
and when i was personally ridden with guilt at stumbling and screwing up even after knowing better.. i came across (amazingly) an article by Yogananda ji.. and it spoke about how when someone is Seeking to be better... there can still be pitfalls but to move on and not judge yourself so harshly.. what i take from it is that the journey for inner perfection isn't a one day trip so let not other people (or yourself esp) hold the hurt of screwing up.. move on, do better :)
and truly.. i feel we're all on our own paths.. and as long as we're trying to get somewhere better internally.. we'll find peace as we keep at it.. and when we're ready and willing.. we'll be led to someone who'll help us further.. share all the love it takes to keep us going.. that's about all i can say :)

and the sea is awesome. the sea salt is purifying and fish are great too :)
thanks deluded.. for the Inspiration to pen this down.. have a feeling it'll help me too one day :)
(3 sentences ending with a smiley..whoa!)
love

also, Importantly.. seriously recommend "Autobiography of a Yogi" Paramhansa Yogananda Ji
if you want to trust any word of this.. let it be this recommendation!
love

Leela o Leela...

Offering some thoughts on Ram Leela (the movie, not well... anything else)

So this is the first movie I've watched in a theatre since.. Vicky Donor (OMG.. google tells me that was mid 2012. OMG~!)

Somehow movies have just lost their charm.. esp Srk ones.. I don't know about everyone (clearly). but the Idea that srk is able to buy off cinema halls and fill em up with Only his shows puts me off actually Watching his movies.. I'm obviously in a minority acc to the success of his movies.. but i haven't honestly watched anything he has been in since... Kal Ho Na Ho? (2003. wow.) or maybe Chak De (2007)... yes. but i enjoyed the lack of focus on him.

Anyway, have recently (maybe with This movie) become a Huge admirer of Deepika Padukone.. the woman is simply Gorgeous! and i could Not stop gushing about her Throughout.. oozing talent, hard work, effortless grace and just Beauty.. even as a girl... i have never found another woman so beautiful.

and Ranveer, while not my cup of tea, i sort of liked for his confidence, acting ability and just this youthful energy bursting out of him.. it somehow seemed to come through that he was absolutely Loving every second of acting.. and that joy became infectious and almost palpable even through a projection of his image!

The movie seems to serve violence with art which when consumed still leaves me queasy..
the tendency to still use the woman's body as a site for violence disturbed me the most i think.. often leaving me holding my hands up to my mouth in horror at what might happen..
the idea that the sexually bold character (deepika's) was made to lose steam by conforming to the virgin ideal didn't really sit well with me either.. why couldn't she be sustained as sexual as ranveer's character?

in parts it Was like a salman khan rowdy, crude, sexual movie titillating the masses with foreplay.. but the fabulous acting saved it.. as well as D's beauty. Bhansali was clearly aiming to please the public and rake in the moolah

i would say it was well made.. but i would also not be watching it again.
(spoiler ahead)
we knew where this ride was heading the moment he climbed up the tree and hopped onto her balcony..
but i'd still hoped for a happier ending and a less pointless death..

an eye for an eye truly makes the whole world blind
i just wish we'd stop calling women bhabhi* and then attempting gang rape.. even in movies.


*literally meaning sister-in-law, but also suggesting respect for the wife of a beloved friend

still musing

Perception is probably the most important part of my day.

The way i choose to see things colours me, them, situations, people, the day and the larger canvas of life.

It esp. colours Me. 

What did i focus on today defines who i was today.

we play Holi with all the colours.. but which colour tints our glasses? 

Good Night and a Sunshine Absorbing Morning to All

love

Walls

I had almost forgotten my old bedroom and scrolling through folders unopened for years.. I found pictures. The bedroom still exists and so does the bed.. but I moved to another friendly-plaster room in the house a while ago. (Friendly-plaster merits a description.. let's just say it often jumps down from the ceiling to hug the earth. ahem)
But since the bedroom was no longer mine.. all the hangings were peeled off and some didn't make it all the way across the house. They got rolled up and stuck in closets, flattened and buried under mattresses and of course relegated to the garage.. ie. not going to be used again space.

When I was 13, a good 12 years ago.. so stave off the harsh judgement :)..
I was deeply in, what I thought, love with boy bands and particularly all blonde singers :)
There used to be posters all around the room.. me, swooning over Nick.. and sister swooning over the dark haired bandmate whose name I never bothered to learn.
with cheesy poetry bubbling inside me, I'd pen down verses or musings right on the poster.. ah, to be 13.. ah, thankfully not-to-be-13 again!

With college at 18 (and onwards), the walls noticed another shift. The board put up anticipating studious "To Do" lists was punched with endless pictures from the days when photos were tangible things to hold, caress and admire the ageing paper. New experiences through Theatre were all recorded and tacked up along with pink hearts strung together.. holding precious expressions of love from friends who finally managed to spring a "Surprise" birthday on me!

Now at 25 I look around the room.. all photos limited to one frame of a collage.. presented as we bid adieu to college.  The space so different now. More of a private space. Quieter. Softer. Nothing screaming for attention. Well, except the occasional bouquet that finds its way into the room. Pictures- now aspirations to a different mental landscape. Very few invited to share. "Let's go out" I say, closing the door behind me.

I wonder about 30... what will I see? where will I be? what will I be surrounded with? what will I aspire towards?...

musing, with love

D

I was thinking about pain today.. and wondering ..
Why is Dettol still in the market? (Dettol being an antiseptic that burns when you apply it)
Why has the no-burn Savlon (a legitimate competitor) not kicked its bum out of business?

with no disrespect aimed at D.. I buy it often.. and I use it a Lot..
but as I dabbed it on today.. I wondered what makes me choose its burning sensation over having my skin tickled by S?

Part of it is conditioning.. for me at least.. if it doesn't hurt.. how do I know its working? how do I know it found the spot? (duh. eyes.) but somehow there is something vaguely satisfying about the knowledge that the balm (however painful) has been applied and all will be well.

But does everyone else also think like me? are we in a consensus? no pain no gain?

maybe its also the name. DETTOL. sounds strong and reassuring.
Savlon. sounds like something you would spray on for fun.
hmm..

maybe I'm overthinking this... but do we operate on patterns of pain?
must I get always get burned to appreciate things? or to even just get the job done?
am I like that horse who needs a prod in the behind to start walking? (aww. horsie. sorry)
do I need the drama to feel things are happening.

I've deliberately mentioned "I" everywhere.. but I wonder (O lovely readers), do you prefer Dettol too?

(I promise I don't work for the company) :)
Love

Tweet-y to Self

(to self)
never judge an angry rant, lotuses can also bloom in the mud

This is not a Review :)

This is my experience with the delicious (deliiiisioooos) Taken (the original)

Liam Neeson kicking/burning/blasting his way through France hell bent on locating his kidnapped virgin progeny (hence sold for super-duper-dollars and kept the movie going at least a solid 15 mins longer. Yay!)

I loved it.. loved the role of the unwilling building-blasting good guy who has taken on Everyone.. friends. foes. frenemies (eh).. and RESCUES the unfortunate child who chose to share a cab with a woman-peddling-middleman. 

I loved the action, the stunts.. and dare i mention again? the building blasting :D

So as can be imagined i had chained myself to the house to prevent self from watching Taken 2 in the theatres.. or maybe i just forgot to buy tickets in time.

but i was eagerly eagerly eaaaagerly waiting for the TV debut *beams*

my enthusiasm and definitely bright pink rose tinted glasses kept me from realising almost till the end.. Taken 2 was not well made. It had some glaaaaring flaws.. Liam now gets kidnapped with wife to pay for his sins of treating women-peddling-not-nice-people as scum and generally beating/kicking/electrocuting/burning uh. killing them. (after eliciting info ofcourse)

but these bada** uh seriously-meaning-business mafia dudes forget to frisk him for his cellphone (errr..ok. slick.)

SPOILER---- coming up--> so he Uses that phone to guide his daughter (who escaped.. yay) to find him and drop a pistol down the chimney where he was trapped (thanks to mommy dear)

now .. this is LIAM.

he can turn your weapon against you and you and you.. and use it to make a jumbo weapon to smack you on your head with (ok, that may not have happened)..

but regardless.. it doesn't make SENSE LIAM (i wail)!!

so i looked up a few reviews post watching.. keywords being "taken 2, not so good?"

and the line that best sums up the experience and made me Laugh-out-Loud (a feeling i am most partial to) was

Go into Theatres and Liam comes up to say "your money has just been TAKEN"

da.da.da.dum!!...(sound effects mine)

hahaha.. i dont know.. it made Me laugh :D

i havent gone into too many details but if you found this page.. you could surely google.. or as someone i know says .. googal kardo :)

(no one says that.. i say that.. no one says that)

LOVE!

of Daal.. and other delicious things

I think it's possible that I am quite confused at the moment.
Though things are clearing up.. and I Did make my very first salad today.
which is a definite step in the right direction.

so so much is happening but it becomes harder to know what is really worth talking about.
and also the Why behind the talking. why talk about it.. why talk about it Here?...
so I will do the fun thing.. I will talk about all the delicious (pronounced very incorrectly as dii-liii-sii-os) things I'm going to learn how to COOK!!

Today was my version of the Subway salad.. *glee*
(yes, not much "cooking" there)

But kaddu, kaali daal, paneer bhujia, bhindi are the staples that I Will master and SHARE :D
Why?
Well.. the emotional journey (err.. somewhat) has been captured on this blog..
now the culinary will be.. (err.. somewhat)...
because I am hoping to keep the emotional Mostly balanced..
so we can now talk about other exciting things..

the Birthday is COMING!!.. I should learn to make a cake before that..
a Good cake. so Here was where I went into this graphic description of the icing
sitting gently on the tongue.... err.. and it sounded slightly erm.. seksual (yus.. seksual)
so this was me editing it.

hahaha.. so now you know!..
plus I do really funny accents aaj kal.. so often in fact that I might be forgetting the polite way
to talk.. hahah.. ah. life-on-earth. ah.
chalo chalo.. pushing off for now

Peace and Louuu
(also.. if anyone is interested in receiving a mail regarding Empowerment and Positivity.. not by me..just mailed by me.. lemme know people.. it shall be done..)
 

The Sun

For some time this blog will take on a Watermelon hue :)
to celebrate v's wedding sari two years ago..

Love
and yes, the blog Breathes again I suppose