Explain me this

So mutual friend with Sister is an extremely interesting... personality. Facebook spills with over-the-top displays of affection for recent ex (he's moving back to India) and so she (Sister) sends him a message to ask him how he's handling the (devastating, claims his status) break-up. His response is a casual plan to catch up in delhi and oh yes, did he mention? Sa is now 'part of his past'. There, thats it. That is all she gets. Crumbs off his over-large mahogany table. She's his 'past'. Oh glory be. Lets not assume he's a layered human who feels deeply and hides it under a stoic front, no my innocent tadpoles..the guy is scum (and still annoyingly easy-on-the-eyes, shouldn't he have like an 'i-am-evil' sign stamped on his forehead? like the devil-child or something!!!).
She's devastated too, claim millions of wall posts.
I sure hope it secretly means as much(or little) for her as it does to him.
Still, Fee-rankly, tit for tat never cuts it.
If it turns out in the near future that they're both scum... :( ...
how sad does that make the world?

Yes. I know it isn't a 'big deal' and we see this kind of stuff everyday, at least hear about it. My point exactly, its as though we're becoming immune to insentivity and that is worthy enough of fear in itself.

Since when is hypocrisy acceptable?
Since when is it okay to not care and pretend like you do?

Cynical responses will not be appreciated. Negativity can sink ships..... or at least cause a huge dent that can bump into an ice-berg, get pierced..fill up with
salt water and sink the ship.
You know what i mean.

Ps- If you're on the lookout for fabulous movie, look no more...
The Jane Austen Book Club turned out to be quite an investment...Even if it was a little on the predictable side with the whole end bit.
Whatever, the world needs some sunshine.

Vent-ing

It occurs to me, late as usual, that things will change.
no not just people shifting base or college...but everything will change
if it hasn't already.
no sad smileys. no smileys.
there are some moments where computer generated smiles wont cut it.
this is one of those moments.

the cocoon spun so carefully to take the weight of all the daily problems will collapse into dust and melt into the ground.
a new one ready and waiting with extra-strong thread?
i think not.
there comes a time when you're too tired to test-drive that new car.
you want the rickety old one, the one whose flaws you were familiar with.
whose bumps you could anticipate
(no matter how much you grumbled about them at the time, rubbing the bruised head)

thats the things with safety nets.
we dont want to give them up.
we dont want them to go to Pune.
we dont want them to do Law without us.
we dont want to replace them with someone else.
no matter how inevitable the whole thing is.

we dont want to move on when moving on means going away.
going away from the familiar.
am not good with change.
curled up with spikes out.
thats me during shift-mode.
sadly.

it isnt fair.
it isnt supposed to be like this.
it isnt supposed to be like this.
i want the comfort of the past.
i want it to hold my hand in the future.
or at least promise that it'll be there.
i dont want it to break its word.

its all fluid now
and the currents sweeping us away.
too fast
too smooth for tears.

if you were looking for any artistic merit on this page, i suggest you scroll on down. this post isnt going anywhere.

why must be begin another journey if it too has to come to an end?
dont tell me the destination isnt important, the journey is.
i know.
but things just get more bumpy with new cars to get used to.
i hate how perverse life can be.
okay. on the bright side, life isn't forcing me to walk(just yet)

the ending is just to keep things in perspective.
but im going to miss my daily dose of coffee..and friends.
(be prepared for soppy letters)

ps- to put the cherry on this clumsy cake

presenting Aicha, just bloody because

[Verse1]

So sweet, so beautiful

Everyday like a queen on her throne

Don't nobody knows how she feels

Aicha, Lady one day it will be real

She moves, she moves like a breeze

I swear I can't get her out of my dreams

To have her shining here by my side

I'd sacrifice all them tears in my eyes

[Chorus]

Aicha Aicha - passing me by (there she goes again)

Aicha Aicha - my my my (is it really real)

Aicha Aicha - smile for me now

Aicha Aicha - in my life

[Verse2]

She holds her child to her heart

Makes her feel like she is blessed from above

Falls asleep underneath her sweet tears

Her lullaby fades away with his fears

[1/2Chorus][Bridge]

She needs somebody to lean on

Someone body, mind & soul

To take her hand, to take her world

And show her the time of her life, so true

Throw the pain away for good

No more contemplating boo

[Verse3]

Lord knows the way she feels

Everyday in his name she begins

To have her shining here by my side

I'd sacrifice all them tears in my eyes

Aicha Aicha - ecoute moi

[Chorus]

If i promise to work extra-hard at being determined in my next life, can i please give in and submit? Am i allowed to give up and not care?

No?

I didn't think so.

Psst-where is this coming from you ask?

Psst-nudge-nudge- Reality check i answer.

Enuff, Enough, Enuff said.

Black White and Grey

It was raining. It had rained that day as well. Four feet by six, too small pronounced the architect biting down hard on his slim toothpick. Never mind she has shrugged off, ‘It’ll be for storage’ and they had moved on to more important decisions.
A tiny room banished to suffer the ignominy of neglect for more than a decade she mused carefully tying a scarf around a severe bun. The sheer quantity of things that had accumulated took her breath away. There, pushed against the wall stood his first cricket bat. It had cost enough and he had begged her at age 7 to not throw it away. Even after his Papa has promised to buy him a ‘better’ one she thought smiling. On the left sat a metal trunk full of saris her mother has thoughtfully chosen, each one hand picked to anticipate multiple functions at her in-laws, paranoid about looking ‘small’.
Most had been worn once and then folded carefully for those suitable moments to present themselves. With effortless ease she had given up the hassle of her badly tied sari for the immeasurably more convenient salwaar-kurta. Each year, only making her resolve stronger and that metal case had gotten buried deeper under the bulk of yet more unwanted stuff. Things she now needed to give away she decided, giving the trunk one firm push out of the small door. It opened up a room of possibilities she realized surveying the brick floor with dust eating at its every corner. More and more things formed a pile outside the door as the maids giggled helplessly at the sight of their Memsahib struggling with cobwebs and firmly refusing any help. Dust mops, jhaadus, wet cloths and buckets of water were all sacrificed to that room. The rain splattering on the trees outside made for comforting background music as she scrubbed away at those bricks. Each battle won with the dust added to her sense of accomplishment, the like she hadn’t felt for years.
Inches away from complete exhaustion she finally looked up and found what she had forgotten existed, a tiny window near the top of the room. She stretched out her hands and pushed it open to breathe in the first intoxicating whiff of that rich metal smell mingled with fresh rain. She balanced herself on tip toe and her eyes met the world outside as light began to filter into the once dark room. She smiled to herself and knew in her heart that the architect wasn’t right. The room wasn’t too small at four feet by six; it was in fact just right.

My-Real-Post-Script---- Deeply indebted to Sh who took the picture, around which this story is spun. Here's hoping we all get that tiny room, sometime.

back, and how! :D

I think it is important we all (I) recognize the implications of what is happening.
Yesh. Right this very second. Now and now and now and now.
This is me risking life, limb and sunshine(!?!) to blog when i Should be curled up in a corner with J.Swift (sooooo i had to finish all four books by lunch and i haven't finished even one. Sooooo what?)........

But i realized somewhere around skimming through 'humans are bad, humans stink, humans are cruel people who don't have any manners' (umm, paraphrased... naturally)....that i miss blogging!
Like i reaaaaaaaally really do.
i miss the thrill of watching these words just pop up out of nowhere and typing out thoughts i had no ideaaaaaaa i had gurgling up somewhere in my unconscious.
Plus its FUN! D:....oi, odd smiley.

Or maybe im just tired of reading what Writer X has written and then reading what Critic A, B, C feel about what X says. Blah.
A teensy bit left-out am i :(
but-where-did-MY-opinion-go?
*puppy face*
does-no-one-Care?
sniff.

The answer is 'no'.
Unless i hit it beeeeeeg(big) with some supah-cool theory, im a nobody.
but but but...i am YOUNG
"I am young but I have aged
Waited long to seize the day
All things said and plenty done
Oh I am young but I have a past
Travelled far to find the start
Yes I am scared and I've been burnt
But life is short..."
Okay, so Butterfly Boucher invades the mind :)

And alsooo, i managed to watch the last few episodes of
(wait for it)
The Rachel Zoe Project (oooooooh!)
Not too bad actually if you're a secret devil wears prada fan..
i only wish she would be a lil meaner to her assistants..
makes for more spicy Teee-Veeeee :D
Somehow i have always(always always always) wanted to actually work
at a terrible job (ie. high pressure) and CRIB about the horrendous working hours...
while secretly getting a huge kick out of the deadline-was-5-mins-ago panic!
Yipee. AGENDA!
But i know, realistically, i'd get yawn-bored or just yawn-yawn-tired in about 3 weeks.

So ANYWAY, its a very predictable rut-thing as of now..
wake up...mooch around...study...talk to Sw...whine...lunch...study...power-nap-for-too-long-to-be-called-a-power-nap...study...Teeeee-veeee :)....random-food-consumption...text...try-and-study...watch more Televisionooosto(just because)...

Turns out its not so predictable...check out the wild quotient!!!! Eeeee...
*faints due to sheer hyper-activity..... not*

I like i like i likeeeeeee this. Sigh.
Whaaaa else can i go all go-gah over?
Oi, plans for the future?
No.
Umm, thoughts about the past?
Nu-uh.
Chocolate consumption?
Yaaaais. had the tiniest thinnest sliver of dark choco. (swoons. YUM)
and yes. i also kind of climbed a tree. in college.
it was fun you know...
getting back into the aaaaaa-this-makes-no-sense-mode.
plus, got my internal marks and they match what i had anticipated.
so all is good.

*breathes*
yes.
Now back to Swift and some major apologies!!
(but the blog called oooooooooout to me J.Swift. it did!!!...)
lala. whatever :D

Songs, eh?
*looks around for inspiration*
Oh yeah...to celebrate V being back in town (YAY)

Hit it ------Franklin! :)

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you

While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

(Chorus)

My darling believe me, (believe me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please love me too (answer his pray)
And I'm in love with you (answer his pray)
Answer my prayer now babe (answer his pray)

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me (oooooooooh)

i-recommend

Listen to

Unchained Melody- Elvis Presley(****)
Aint no Sunshine- Van Morrison(***)
Twist and Shout- The Beatles(***1/2)
Toothpaste Kisses- The Maccabees(****)

And be happy y'all.

my flash-fiction (under 5oo words) is turning out to be a lil darker than i would necessarily want it to be... leaning a bit on the grim side.

maybe its time to experiment with humour...

ps- Artaud says we must do away with personal art and the poets personal meanings that remain unclear to the masses... "enough of these displays of closed, conceited personal art"

i say, i'm not being paid nearly enough to be clear.

actually, i'm not being paid at all.

obscurity still reigns supreme.

my post-script is longer than my 'post'.

gah.

one more senseless rule broken.

gah gah and gumboots.

here is a wiki article on the post-script.

enjoy.

i know you can google.

but i challenge you to make me care.

oh. countdown to exams is on.

april again

on the grimy floor
completing chores
tracing letters with fingers
watching dust shift, express
the meaning of things
what you feel because of feelings

giving form
(to)intricate complexities

a child still in the garb of a man
waits patient
counts down not seconds
sits unruffled
securely tucked,
in between sheets cream

Pikchaaaaars, just because! :)

The blog has largely been ignored for various (fascinating) reasons.
Primarily-

I have exams coming up and any writing i do Should be (in some way) an investment towards that.... uh. yes.

Facebook and photographs have been eating up a LOT of my time (sigh, its a hard task but someones got to do it :D...)

And here is the coolest ('kewlest') one... been writing a lot of fiction *beams*

Family and friends have officially been notified of above and begged/forced/wheedled/puppy-eye-d into reading and commenting...

Reactions?

Mum finds my language a lil complicated :(... which it is not..SO is not

Sister invokes the freedom-to-read-by-choice and shudders in horror each time i wave a print out in front of her :(:(

Dad picks up a pen and viciously gets down to an inky massacre... few sentences survive the attack.. (he insists on my POEMS SPELLING OUT stuff!)...canyoubelieveit?..but at least thats criticism :)

Friends of course are on the supportive bandwagon and throw around feel-good words with ease...

Guess i should learn to understand my audience..

-The dismissive
-The disinterested
-The ones who will buy my work because they love me
-The ones who will buy my work because we're related and i will harass them into it
-The critical ones
-The teeny tiny percentage who don't know (or like) me and still find my work worth a read :D

The last category i love, now i all i gotta do is hunt em down and mail a copy of my fantastic art :D

On the super-shiny-bloody-sunny part of the universe, am going w-i-l-d with postgrad applications... state, country, population-level no bar!... If MA English they offer, obediently i turn up complete with a beam and demand draft :):)
Dad jokingly recommended Pondicherry University.. i was sorely tempted to google it :)

Sigh. Gush. Oysters.
Okay, the last part only S will get *grins*

Ps- also been indulging in some minor think-grab-tissue-and-scribble-deep-thought-on-it kind of behaviour.. Doctors assure mum it isnt too serious (or infectious) but shes seriously concerned anyway!! hehe. i aaaaaaaalways crack up at my own lameness!
Much love.