wet moss

I will tell you about my day. Just to pen down in virtual ink what today was like.
Sleep came later than planned as I broke my early-to-bed schedule once again.
No, no more television. Just latelate night catching up and whispering into the phone.

Waking up to no driving, no walking, and no yoga.
Just Seconds of awareness before a welcome cold bath.
A resigned few hours spent out of the house in a location I am still to pinpoint in the messymap of Delhi in my head.
Coming home to a delivery request made to Dominos. I gave them good business, surreptitiously.
Surely more than 30 minutes later... it arrives.
A messy clump of maida, paneer and round-red-curls of chillie.
The ketchup at home ran out... rather.. fell into the plate and disappeared slowly.

Brunch I called it.

1 litre of water later.
Full-ness. And not the nice kind.
In-need-of-hollowness kind.

Herecomesthedawn.
Herecomesthedawn.
Scorching 5 pm and a drive around the old 5 kms.

9pm and dinner of dal and bhindi.
I can feel the maida in me.
Weighing these words down.
I feel it in the heaviness...around.

Not the best idea.
When will I become that wise woman who learns from the experience of others?

Weighty Matters

We don’t know how it really was some 3 decades ago. We have our mum’s word or sometimes our nani’s to tell us how things back then were a whole lot better. The men were (apparently)less lusty. The women less ‘bold’.
And miraculously, nobody needed a regular waxing session. NOBODY.

It was a whole different world.

Today I realized that in spite of what Cosmo tries to convince me.. a Prada bag and Choo shoes aren’t a girls best accessory. They aren’t going to guarantee jaws dropping (which is apparently their primary use- Making a statement)

The best thing you can strut around the streets in 2010 with… is a fabulous, well maintained and cared for BODY. It is the one thing no one can compete with you for.. because luckily most of us don’t have twins to share our thunder ;-)
Even if someone else out there can try and claw open all ‘flaws’ in you… You will have the satisfaction of being content with the way you look. Happy with the effect and just knowing that you have done all you can do to take care is a great feeling. Its akin to having a subway sandwich.. a delicious experience without the guilt.

Know that maintaining your ideal weight is a guilt-less experience because then you know you’re not abusing your body or giving in to gluttony.

Can’t wait to reach that stage of happy contentment.
Till then, I will enjoy the process :)

The To-Do someday soon :)

Some things to do before I pop off to heaven

Have at least One interesting conversation with someone I've always sort-of known but never taken the time to talk to...IN a coffee shop which has a pebbled path outside...with a very himachal-breeze that rushes in through the open window
The conversation should begin somewhere in the afternoon and we should be able to sit comfortably till the sun begins to set..

Go really deep into a meditative state and experience that sense of balance...Once. Twice. Many times? All-The-TIME!! *salivates* :)

Dance underwater!

Write a (good)book.. that changes someone out there(for the better!)

Dance.Dance.Dance...whenever I feel like it!
If life was a musical ..and I the eccentric director who can attempt a piroutte at a seconds whim.

Eat a jar of peanut butter chunky style...alone! ha! (and not put on weight)

Fall madly in love for a day and have it reciprocated.. the soul-meets-soul love. The kind where you spend all day together and love the person because it makes you happy this soul is out there in the wide universe... Even if you never meet, chat, mail, call each other..ever again!

Jump off a cliff and (somehow) land on something spongy...and not be bound by a rope tied to your feet.. Just JUMP and know it's gonna be okay.

Feel Fearless

Cuddle up with a horse at night. Or a really wellfed (vegetarian)lion... *the mane..bliss*

Read another play by Dario Fo

Spend the night surrounded by flowers (that have their roots attached to the ground).. and not be the latenight special for the mosquitoes or tigers(?)

Meet Tamora Pierce and tell her she's super awesome!

Be able to forgive any and everyone for any and everything. Rub off all experiences that once made me sad and START OVER. To be able to accept Everyone.

Leave Facebook.

Drive and not have eyes-roll-around me saying 'Woman Driver'. Though that I can't do much about :-)

Not need to talk on the phone.. Have everyone I love walking-distance away from me.
:D

Rock a backless choli and mini-shorts... (not simultaneously)

Laugh hysterically when something funny happens. And forget to cover my mouth when I do :P

I like how most of these are very do-able :)
An interesting list to go back to when I'm 40 and glowing after a swim in the mountain stream...
Add that to the list... Swim in a mountain stream *BEAMS*

Honestly

I wonder..

Why is it always easier to spill the ugly stuff?

So shoot me with your Pichkari..

Top 5 reasons to shoot me with a water gun.. Now

-I squeal like a little girl when I see a barsaati keeda in my room
(especially when it's time for bed and I'm not securely throttled by my jeans)
When in fact I should shriek like a 22 year old and muster up the guts to chuck it out by
the cloth I normally drape over it.
Must-stop-yelling-for-dad

-I just drowned a baby-lizard down the bathroom drain :(
What can I say? I'm a murderer.
I plead sheer terror when it went skipping off towards my bucket.
(who knows where else its little feet have been?)

-I don't ooh-aah over every baby I see.
And no it's not a girl thing to automatically think every young one of our species
is adorable/so wee/and deserving of coochie-coo from strangers.
From parents? Yes. Strangers? No.
ItoldyouImNotPerfect!

-I loved the movie Love, Sex aur Dhokha.
Apparently that's a crime.

-I love happy endings.
AND the colour Pink.
Shoot you narrow minded cynics!

Amen
Peace
Bless you all.
Have a happy bubbly loving crazy fun pakoda-eating day! :)
Like mine :D

dash-dot-skip

You know what that is?
It's leaves all connected but each pointed in a different direction.
That is what friendships have translated into.
Nothing really changed after college.
Okay, everything did but intrinsically the people I've always had connections with were still hovering around. Even if they were in Hyderabad and we wouldn't talk for months... It would feel comfortable calling up and yelling 'poop face'. In fact, I liked the distance because it made our relationship more real.... it sunk in that there was more to us than 5 hour practice session for our street plays. Something much deeper... compatability.

Each year more and more people are falling off the Delhi map and I wonder... will all of these bonds evolve? or simply stagnate as pretty warm memories to dip nostalgic words into once every rainy season?

I'm guessing it'll be the former considering the solid foundation we all have.

Thank you... for listening.

My zen

If I had to notch up some famous (read overt) flaws of mine that could lead to tragic consequences if not reined in Now... They would be (in no particular order)

The Sin of
-Pride (overconfidence, overestimation of one's own abilities)
-Sloth (laziness because of aforementioned overconfidence)
-Wrath (I blame the Bull in me.. who can take it all in for hours, days..sometimes months...and then one bright sunny day react ferociously to a tiny glimpse of red.. then no mercy.. grrrowl!)

The thing to remember is that these Sins seem to cross each others path and sometimes pave the way from one to the other. Now I could put the word Sins in quotes to show just how meaningless I think the categorization is... To dismiss the cold hard lines of definition and say it is all a relative, subjective and ever fluctuating Concept. But politically incorrect though it probably is.. I believe they Are flaws. They ARE Sins. They are feelings/emotions/tendencies that ARE "fatal to spiritual progress".

It isn't something I'm declaring at a moments whim. It happens to be something I've personally experienced; The destructive nature of these tendencies.
I'm also very comfortable expressing regrets about the past. Not the fact that it happened but sometimes the way it was handled...by me. Because when any or all of the Sins would come into play there would always be a hint of regret in the air, palpable some 2-3 hours later.
So I don't regret episodes... I just believe I could have handled them with a far more peaceful approach.
I think detachment is beautiful if the process is a soft gentle one.
It doesn't even have to be poignant. It could be the joyful one like that of bacteria.. you know, splitting apart and us calling it reproduction. I guess I like the idea of remaining a whole after "splitting".

These are creepy thought to have on yet another beautiful (Extra)sunny June day! :)
ta all...