mental treks

 (some) 2 second answers from the one taking one-too-many-breaks

• seems Face ID doesn't become ineffective because it keeps collecting data each time it's used and acclimating to the changing features that come with weight fluctuations. Interesting. 
• hard to keep track of the source of the best, most snug, mask. 
• yes, Delhi Delhi Delhi. in all its flawed, materialistic, crumbly, fast-paced, ambitious, chaotic mystery.
• i really don't need to buy that. but i need to buy something that gives the same (presumed) spectacular result at 1/10th the price. ideally.
• will i use it? yes. yes. yes. will i need it? yes. yes. yes.
• they never sent the runner.
• i would definitely be more efficient. 
• i stand by my statement.

the thing about "wish lists" is, they can probably never be fulfilled. probably. there is a plethora of industries dedicated to convincing us that we need something more. 

More.

more things. to wear, to eat, to carry, to pack inside. to acquire.

more things to see, to experience, to want to visit. 

more ways to change, our skin, hair, features, body parts... body size, colour, height...

and repeat.

there's no end to desire, until we control the part of us that does the desiring. 

because there's no end to what can be acquired, or what one can aspire to externally.

Literally, billionaires are now competing to go into outer space because acquiring (or the ability to acquire) every material possession possible on Earth has not satiated the insatiable part that wants more.

there is no end to it.

there is no end, until we put it on pause. at whichever stage, time, age we choose and say "enough".

that i will not be brainwashed into thinking that acquiring any thing will add to my happiness or peace of mind permanently. That no experience, lavish or otherwise, will be anything more than a memory.

so, what then?

It's not about abstaining from the available pleasures or opportunities to wear, eat, travel, or do anything that makes you feel good (albeit temporarily).

in my opinion, like everything above, it is the hankering for that something that is the cause of stress, worry, disruption of peace.

I don't know how a tongue-in-cheek response to my own meandering thoughts has segued into the above.

but it has. yet another mystery. 

Unexpected destinations

2 second thoughts fluttering past the landscape of a preoccupied mind

At what point of weight-change does the Face ID essentially become ineffective ?

Mask= Face ID fail, the fingerprint would be So much better. Context matters. 

Delhi Delhi Delhi

Do I really need to buy that? What does one actually need? Bit of a philosophical rabbit hole there...

How did I do that? How (re-reading this after 30 mins and why can’t I remember what I was referring to? Why?)

Maybe I’ll think of it like a belated birthday treat? But will I ever use it? Will I ever need it? 

Why can’t they send the runner? It’s been over a week!!

I would do that differently 

I have some answers and many more questions

Love can grow. Continue to bloom. Colouring memories with rosy brushstrokes, painting over the oscillating emotions and enhancing the indescribable joy of soul meeting soul. One in the body of man, another in the body of a dog. Soul meeting soul. Soul loving soul. Love can grow 

Privilege

Our "problems" can help identify what level of privilege we are operating out of. 

and maybe even 2 years ago, the vast difference between the haves and have-nots was still immense and primarily responsible for shoving the majority of mankind down a particular path- of varying levels of access to education, health, financial stability...

But now.

Now. 

there are no words I can casually spin for now.

Samay

This is not the time one would want to make a record of.

To those who are in unimaginable pain, I'm so sorry. my Prayers are with you.

Hoping the outer environment becomes safer, as well as the Peace of the inner environment is maintained.

To those who have the privilege of a safe home to be in, to protect yourself in, please don't take it for granted and flout social distancing. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Stay Safe everyone. As safe as possible.

neu neu thoughts

The blog is gayab again and all that.

Imagine if this happened with a book you actually read (and liked).

Each time you reach out to your bookshelf, you fumble around exasperated "Uff, not again"

and the book has scuttled away, like an overexcited toddler high on sugar granules.

a pirouette, the swishing of its pages and vanishing from view.

a literary horror story.

The Mystery of the Vanishing Blog

 

Mush

It's rare to watch something that consistently tugs at your heart strings. and this show, this show is playing the violin with mine. 

I've discovered The Office rather late, decades late perhaps, but Wow. John Krasinski's version of Jim Halpert is just beyond.

Maybe its good I didn't watch this sooner, because I'm at that point when Jim makes a list and it's literally

Pam

Cece

New Baby

and in the second column "everything else".

It's just all heart. 

and its probably really good I didn't watch this in my teens because it would set the bar at an impossibly high peak. 

Just Beyond. Beyond. Beyond.

So much love. So much mush. Mushy cheesy perfection. 

Social Media and 2021

I’m beginning to feel like one of the deeper problems with social media is its immersive nature. It lulls you in, swallowing up precious hours, days and insidiously entering the mind to build associations that you.just.dont.need.

And I’m not even referring to that strange system of designating acquaintances into the category of followers *cough*fans*cough* 

I mean, when did friendship stop being a mutual relationship? 

In the quest for higher numbers and also numbers that don’t overlap, some people seem to have lost the original plot- now its more important to be seen than to see? And even if, there is a mutual sharing of the daily - what is being consumed is banal yet addictive. 

The whole thing is rather puzzling and I find myself giving up on it.

I actually did join the most consumption-driven site for a while, and then again, and it was lovely to stay in touch with those who matter... seeing what they were up to, staying more updated about their daily lives, stuff we wouldn't necessarily text about... applauding their artistic experiments (yay!) and generally feeling happy cheerleading their achievements :)

It was also great getting back in touch with others, sending virtual hugs as love-filled memories warmed the heart. It was great to reach out, comment and actually connect without reservation. 

But the other darker aspect is ultimately too oppressive for me, compelling me to step away after a few weeks. There's just too much projection happening. Too much... pandering. and it doesn't ever lead to a good feeling when you're consuming that much of a false narrative. and IG, in particular, has just a huge volume of images just hitting you visually, each one carefully curated to provoke a particular reaction.

I guess Twitter doesn't seem that obvious, although probably the same intent propels each tweet. The desire to appear a certain way, to project wit, intellect or sarcastic intelligence. I guess every expression/interaction, virtual or otherwise, can then be interpreted as attempts at projection.. Hmm, that's probably true. But in reality, sigh so many months ago, when we do meet people, it's normally at a much smaller scale. The projection of an image is thus limited to those we are physically interacting with. Social media makes it possible for us to expand our influence and shove that same attempt at projection into every screen that subscribes to our virtual persona.

Which brings me back to the joy of simpler times, actually interacting with people we like and share the same-ish wavelength with. Whether its celebrating each others sense of humor, giggling over past idiocies or musing on changing philosophies, its really good to connect with those whom you're actually a fan of. :) Friendships are unique and precious, but as we grow older (33 this year!! whoa!) you realize that friendships are also sustained by admiration of each others strengths... of not just liking the person, but of looking at this human you've shared so much with, and you admire different aspects of them. they're probably not going to be identical to you, but there are aspects of them you aspire to and vice versa... you share love and a genuine concern for each other... you wish that they receive the best, and experiences with them, of laughter and love, become treasured memories. 

To the good moments

To the good memories

To the good ones

BIG Thank you! To receive a chance to experience goodness is wonderful, to remember to acknowledge the goodness is priceless. 

keep it moving buddies, nothing to read here

Officially- the plot has been lost

Almost completed a rhyme about a floating 🐝 

Managed to erase it before it took too much of a structure and I would have to confront the fact that I at 1 am think composing children’s songs about 🐝’S is actually an appropriate and constructive use of my time

Ofcourse *this* is not much better 

But sometimes when you’re skipping a whole lot, it helps to spout the nonsensical